Dus Ass Wale...

Raavan, without any doubt, is the WORST MOVIE I have seen in the last 10 years, probably even the worst I have ever seen ...I dont remember being as utterly perplexed and mindfucked while and after watching a movie since I saw Refugee and LOC, but even those had some redeeming moments...and some of the recent crap like Kidnap and Karzzzzz was of the so-bad-its-good variety....

Raavan is the lowest of low points in Mani Ratnam's career and Abhishek Bachchan's non-career...For some reason, Ash's (non-existent) cleavage hogs more limelight than any shred or iota of acting skill she allegedly has...I have seen some seriously BAD movies, and i mean real bad bad movies like Jai-Veeru and Team-The Force, and even they seem like Picasso in front of this Dus Ass Wala Raavan...Mindfuck! डोक्याला शॉट! डायरेक्टरच्या आईचा घो !

Irony of life....

You always want to be the Akash of your life, but no matter how much good you mean, sometimes you just turn out to be Rohit...

And the irony is .... one person's Akash can be another person's Rohit....

Maybe its a good idea to just be Sameer and not bother about the Shalinis of the world...You could try to be Sid, but takes a lot of maturity and unfortunately, I'm not there yet....

Yo James...

Sometime in the mid-90s, somewhere in California....

"Ron, I'm gonna build a big ship...huge one...cut it into half ...tie people to the posts and railings on tht ship...then get a bunch of cranes and pull it vertical so that it looks like one half of a sinking ship....the tied people all sway, hanging on the threads they are tied to...its all natural...looks awesome...you capture it all using multiple cameras, edit it, post process it and lo, you have an awesome scene of a sinking ship...waddaya think?"

"You know James, its a ridiculous idea...its not gonna work...there's so much technology available...you should use it!"

"Technology schmecknology! I'mma make it work! You'll see..."

"Take my word James, you'll come back to technology later when it doesnt work out...and you'll have wasted money and time! Listen to me now, I know this stuff..."

"Oh you scientists know squat about art! You'll see"

6 months later....

"Yo James, hows it goin man?"

"You know what Ron, you were right...my goddamn idea was a boo-boo....it looked hideous..."

"I toldja didnt I!"

"Yeah! I put my foot in my own mouth...gimme your goddamn technology...lets see how it goes!"

A coupla years later in 1998....

Titanic smashes box-office records worldwide...

The people


Ron - Ron Fedkiw, my Special Effects professor (More info here)
James - James Cameron, Director

True story.

The real superhero...

...is Robert Downey Jr! How else can you explain Iron Man, Tropic Thunder, Sherlock Holmes and Iron Man 2 is succession!! He has now officially displaced Leonardo DiCaprio as my favorite Hollywood actor.

Getting back to the movie, Iron Man 2 is no The Dark Knight, but it is not Transformers 2 either, nor is it Spiderman 3! I guess you see where I am going :D While it explores less of psyche and more of the superficial, Iron Man 2 delivers what all superhero movies are intended to deliver in the first place - loads of entertainment and action - and it does that without disrespecting the IQ levels of the audience, which is more than you can ask from this genre! While it does not delve into depths of almost any of the characters' psyches, save Tony Stark to some extent, the film is so edgily written and performed that you are willing to overlook that fact. While Mickey Rourke as Whiplash and Samuel Jackson as Nick Fury get sort of a raw deal, they nevertheless shine to the extent they can. Gwyneth Paltrow is adorable as Pepper Potts and Scarlett Johannson burns the screen with her chutzpah. How I wish there was more of her in the movie. I need not repeat the fact that she is H-O-T, she is superhot in this one! Sam Rockwell is brilliant as Hammer. But the real superhero as I mentioned is Robert Downey Jr.! He builds on top of the Tony Stark character he conceived in the first part and while the focus is more on his situation this time than on his psychology, the filmmakers are lucky to have him since he comes up with such an eccentric, delicious and towering performance that overshadows everything else including the half-baked characterizations, the unoriginal and underdeveloped rationale to Whiplash's action, the kick-ass action set-pieces (though we all have seen better!) and even Scarlett Johannson's assets! Now if that isnt a superpower, what is!

Its an entertainment fest, laced with lots of sarcasm and punch! And while it misses the chance of being another Iron Man or The Dark Knight, Iron Man 2 leaves dumbass flicks like Revenge of the Fallen and Clash of the Titans light years behind, both in terms of pure adrenaline and sheer joy!

P.S. : I wouldnt mind seeing an entire movie on the Black Widow, btw! :D

Where exactly is the devil?

Okay, so I have kept my views to myself for 3 weeks now, in the (unlikely) hope (yeah right!) that they will change, because, you know, Rahman's music is different, it grows on you with time...While I dont disagree with that, (I have had my share of music-grows-on-you factor with Jaane Tu..., Yuvvraaj and Blue), I hate to admit that this time ARR gets it wrong...That's okay...We all are mortals, and its too much to ask from a person, even if a genius, to deliver just awesomeness everytime...We have seen Sachin fail at times, we have seen Aamir Khan deliver turkeys, and we have seen Michael Schumacher end 10th behind less-gifted drivers...So, ARR delivering an uninspiring album should be no big deal...What stings me however, is the unequivocal raving that has accompanied the release of the soundtracks of Raavan...Its a case of worshipping someone just because we put him up on a pedestal so high up that now calling a spade a spade will mean demeaning the someone to such an extent that is unbecoming of his genius...Now THIS is what i call blasphemy!

Raavan may not be his weakest work till date, but it is definitely ARR's least deserving works in recent times...Least deserving of the accolades, the hype and the hoopla! Lets get this straight, ARR misfires more often than we like to believe, but when he scores, he scores Bull's eye and more, which indeed makes us forget the misfires - indeed the true mark of a genius. But that shudnt make us shy away from calling crap crap! When you have deplorably hideous songs like Kata Kata and the highly pretentious Ranjha Ranjha, there is no way you can convince me with tales of how he has broken away from the convention by delivering a beat on the 13th count instead of the expected 12th and thus, created a masterpiece...The song sounds not-good and that's the result on which the verdict should be based! I mean sample this analysis of Kata Kata:

"There is a madness, wildness and subtle darkness to this playful pre-wedding composition. The bugles at the beginning awaken everyone to an emergency, a crisis, something going amiss followed by drums. What turmoil has arrived, you ask?"

Seriously WTF! The songs sucks...plain sucks! why is there a problem saying tht loud and clear? Pretentious douchebags need to stop writing reviews! Rahman has given us much much better and calling this track a masterpiece and a master stroke is like Filmfare awarding Aamir Best Actor for "Raja Hindustani"! Its seriously WTF...

Coming back to the album, Beera is energetic and has so much energy that it carries you with it for the 4 minutes the song lasts and beyond. So much so that you are willing to forgive the random signature Rahman tribal words "Mehegumenjaaaaaaaaaaaaloooooooooooooo" (I have never understood Rahman's fascination for random, meaningless words in songs; it was "Bala bala, aa ora, o meego, tu bala pada hoysa....taboo, bala bala" in Jai Ho; "Hosa, keecha keecha" in Shano Shano; "Thoda thoda Zimbabwe"in Latoo and numerous more...I mean seriously why spoil a song just by randomness!! I can understand the French rap in Delhi6 but these "tribal" sounds r laughable, not to mention irritating, and just bcoz its ARR, ppl wont say a word...let Himesh or Pritam put somthng like tht in a song and u'll hear no end of it!)...Nevertheless, the song is really good and is the best of the lot because it is energetic and you cant get it out of your head! Behne De is another inspiring track and while it bears some resemblance to Satrangi, the credit goes to ARR for creating such a racy track! Khili Re is the last shred of sense in the album and while its cloyingly sweet and similar to most of the Jodhaa Akbar music, it is well sung and melody keeps it afloat.

Now to the major f*ck-ups! Thok De Killi is fast-food and it has zero impact. People comparing it with Yuva can go get their braincells checked. It is uninspiring and strictly below average. And btw, the lyrics are BAD! Kata Kata is deplorable to say the least, and comparisons with Rukmini are absolutely uncalled for! It is hideously penned and sung and I dont care how awesome the music arrangements are when that happens! Ranjha Ranjha is the most utterly over-rated track of the year - its the Singh is Kinng of music! People raving about its wonderful lyrics need to tell me if they even understand what is being said! Nothing exceptional about the song, nothing even bloody okay about it! The much-awaited Jaa Re Udd Jaa Re sung by the man himself, is not bad but is not worthy of the sky-high praise it has received! Again, its idol worship more than rationale which has prompted people to say tht!

I am aware I may have gone majorly overboard in criticizing Raavan here, but frankly it kills me to see people praising something just bcz it is supposed to be praised. We should stop being afraid of admitting we cant understand "genius" when we dont! Everyone makes mistakes and its stupid to cover up one mistake with another.

This is unconventional music which fails to touch or move...Lets be honest and gutsy enough to call it tht!

Badmaash Soundtrack!

I usually dont do music reviews...bcz music is something that you cannot judge in 1-2-3-..-10 hearings...sometimes it takes a mere 15 second prelude to a song to decide whether ur gonna love it for the rest of ur life, sometimes even 100 loops arent enough...

Wait! I am not breaking my aforementioned unwritten rule bcz I found a kick-ass album! Just that its been a while since I heard some good music and I figured I havent raved about inane, senseless songs with foot-tapping beats and delicious melodies in a while....Doesnt hurt to do that occasionally, right? ;)

Badmaash Company looks like a rehash of Bunty Aur Babli, and while that makes me wanna puke, the soundtrack by Pritam sure is a guilty pleasure!

Ayashi, with its guitar-riffin' start and the 'beparwah' rendition by KK(after loong!) is just brimming with enthusiasm and chutzpah! Reruns galore and you still cant get the tune out of your head...

Chaska, sung earthily by Krishna, is refreshingly different, with its laidback mood and irrefutable reverence to a "high"er power. Brings back memories of "Dum Laga" from Dil Dosti Etc. Addictive!

Jingle Jingle is awesome with Mohit's unique rendition, the super-fun lyrics and the brilliant music! But for the ridiculous "Jingle Jingle" chorus which sucks to the bone, this could have been an anthem for keeps! Still a whole lot of fun, if you can phase out the pathetic "jingle jingle" sound!

Fakeera is the best of the lot! And that's saying something considering the album's full of pep and vigour! Rahat Fateh Ali Khan moves away from his typical stuff to give this lilting, meaningful and racy song, with a vintage Pritam stamp all over it!

That brings us to the title song, which put me off with the very first line

"Look Look Left, Look Look Right,

Kar Le Apni, Jeans Pant Tight!"

Trite has a new meaning!! Benny Dayal is wasted in this unflattering piece, which stands out like a sore thumb in an otherwise winner from Pritam!

Lets get this straight : the music of Badmaash Company isnt of the masterpiece variety, but come on, Pritam is no ARR, and to give credit where its due, he has given us awesome (albeit "lifted" :P) stuff like Gangster, Woh Lamhe, Life in a Metro, Awaarapan, Jab We Met, Jannat and Love Aaj Kal (woah! thats some line-up!! and I didnt even consider his massier stuff like Dhoom, D2, Billu and Race!); so when we say Pritam is back in form, it does mean something! :)

Hope the film works too, at least for Shahid Kapoor's sake, coz here's one actor who needs to get his due (and who also needs to learn to smell crap(Dil Bole Hadippa, CpD) from a distance and stay away!). Btw, Anushka, though not much of an actress IMO, is looking smokin' hot in the promos :D

EPIC!

My friend Sagar shared this howlarious stuff tht I cudnt help sharing....a few glimpses below....

Know you FB contacts!

Irony anyone?

The very definition of a trivial breakup!

Wait! Wha....?

Get a life! My favorite :D

Reinforces my belief about the dumb ___ stereotype! (Ping me if you wanna know the blank)

See the real deal here....contains risque, often tasteless, and really really gross, stuff...keep your fingers to yourself if ur too uptight...(i mean dont click the link :P)

When quake hits a geekozoidal town....

This is EXACTLY what happened last week!!

Courtesy: xkcd

A geek's hell....

Having been a huge fan of Tetris for years, this one just literally cracked me up...I mean figuratively...

P.S. : Non-regulars at xkcd who did not get the "literally-figuratively" connection need to go here.

Courtesy: xkcd

Worth more than a LOOK...

Just finished watching Look, an unheralded, little-known movie, which is clearly the "inspiration" behind LSD. (I am highly surprised no one found out about this movie yet! Quite a few concepts in LSD are clearly clearly taken from here!)

Look is a brilliant film in all respects, true to the core and very neutrally narrated...The stories are gut-wrenching and leave you with an aftertaste alright, but its to the credit of the director that he whips up such a simple yet complex inter-twining of tales that is not only delightfully novel but entertains! The stories keep you hooked because you want to know how they end, and the director manages to tie up all loose ends except a couple that are kept open on purpose. The end is just hard-hitting and overall, the movie brought back memories from a lot of good flicks like Life in a Metro and Mumbai Meri Jaan, not for the similarity in story but the similarity in feelings they evoked. Performances are extremely competent and most of the characters are underplayed beautifully.

The songs in the movie deserve special mention, especially noteworthy is High. Just marvel at the lyrics -

Opening a can of worms

That are now out of date

No matter what you do

Dont you dare throw them away.

A harlet sparks the boat

With regurgitating grace

We hide under a broken rainbow

Waiting for the rain to fade.

B'coz Deja Vu

Sounds like something not true

But I think

That I have seen it with you.

I am sure

I have never been here before

There's a dead marker

That is writing on the floor.

High...

About the shooting rains

Where the kids play

In that weather....we were high

And feeling okay

Where the cards change is where we...rely

High....

This is cinema that deserves to be watched! (Just read on imdb that it won the Best Film by the Grand Jury at the CineVegas Awards. At least someone saw and appreciated it!).

P.S. : You can watch the movie here. It contains a considerable amount of nudity and violence so watch it at your own peril if you are too judgemental!