Note : The concept of this post was in my mind for 3 weeks, exactly the amount of time I have been in India in this trip, but this brilliant article finally triggered off the actual post.
As I stood in line for the security check at the Mumbai domestic airport, being relentlessly jostled by fellow passengers, each of who, for some reason, seemed to be in more of a hurry than the other, I couldnt help but wonder how people who could afford to buy Rs. 10000 airplane tickets managed to be so uncouth and uncultured when it came to social behavior. And then it occurred to me - I was being such a fool! I have lived in India for 23 years of my life and after only 2 years in the US, I was expecting everyone here in India to act all prim and proper, like the cultured Westerners! Wait! Did I just call the West cultured? Those beer-guzzling, porn-watching, trigger-happy yappies painted as villains and everything that's wrong with the world in Indian media? Well, yes! Coz culture in this context doesnt mean not looking your wife-to-be in the eye in front of your and her parents (when secretly you are trying to picture her in various...err...."fun" costumes) . It means respecting the fact that other individuals are human beings too!
Now before people launch an attack on me and say I have become American, an NRI, no longer fit to be called Indian etc, let me clarify. Yes, we Indians are some of the most genuinely helpful people in the world. Yes, we will ensure a stranger knows exactly how to find his/her way to a new address if they ask us. Yes, we will in general be very nice to our guests and make sure they are comfortable and happy. Yes, we will do all it takes to maintain our relations in the best way possible. But yes, we are also the same people who will never obey a line! Yes, we will try to find loopholes in everything, from tax returns to real estate laws to traffic rules, and exploit them to the maximum. Yes, we will lech and daydream and yet never admit to it. Yes, we will also guzzle beer, watch porn and secretly harbor a wish to possess a firearm just for the sake of feeling macho, and again, in true macho style, never admit to it! Not everyone falls into all of these categories, but most of us fall into at least one of these. And its not all our fault. Lets face it - life in India is a struggle. You have to fight for every little thing that forms part of your day - from the line in the milk store to the line for the bus to finding your way among hundreds of speeding vehicles while trying to cross the road to haggling with the landlord while paying your rent to arguing with the MacDonalds cashier over getting the exact change in return. There are surely many more instances where we have to make a genuine effort just to stay afloat. And its not always about the money - more often than not, its about the feeling it gives you. You dont want to admit defeat and pay 20 bucks extra to the rickshawala because that would mean feeling like a loser for the rest of the week every time you see a rickshaw. Its all in the mind and its all a struggle - all the way.
So, when faced by a demanding situation, like the one I faced at the domestic airport in Mumbai, the natural instinct is to fight and ensure you arent late for your flight, even if take-off is a good 3 hrs away. The stark contrast between the international terminal and the domestic one hit me like a ton of bricks that day. The same Indians who were acting all sophisticated at the international terminal - progressing patiently in the lines, not making loud noises, not trying to tackle the old lady in front of them, not ogling at the hot lady in the low-cut dress - those same people had now become a totally different social organism - pushing at least 3 people simultaneously to ensure their security check happens before everyone around them, elbowing the guy in front to put their bags through the scanner before his, staring deep down the cleavage of a lady who dared to wear that bold an attire to an airport, redefining what a single file means by ensuring there are at least 6 people contesting for every spot in the "single file"! The competition to survive gets to us as soon as we are in an Indian scenario. And what's worse, some of us feel proud of it! We are proud of the fact that we have enough fight to survive in a line for the Mumbai local or in a bid to find a parking spot, even if it is by cutting across someone who came before us.
I loved the "holding the door open for the person after you" example in the article, because it happens to me all the time everytime I visit India! I find myself holding the door open for the people after me and they move out without so much as a cursory glance, and worse still, dont bother holding the door for the person after them! On one occasion, my dad had to chide me to let the door go after around 10 people had walked out without bothering! And this is not about some difficult-to-understand culture, these are simple etiquette, that we Indians surprisingly lack, the moment we find ourselves in an area with majority Indians. I have seen it happen at the Bangalore bus station, I have seen it happen at the Mumbai airport and I have seen it happen at the AMC parking in Santa Clara! Our Indianness comes to the fore right away, coz you know, its survival of the fittest. Sadly, we forget that the "fittest" arent always the happiest.
To wrap up, yes, the Western culture is fake at times, yes a lot of people dont mean to know how your day has been when they ask you "How's it going?", yes they have their issues with family, but yes, they also know how to behave in public, yes they also know why cutting across you in traffic is unfair and yes they know even if they are seventh in the line, its only a matter of minutes before its their turn and jostling will only make things worse and unpleasant for everyone. We Indians are some of the most compassionate people in the world. Unfortunately, we are also probably the most ill-mannered lot. And this can change, but it will take a long time and until the seething anger for disorder, corruption and other man-made issues doesnt abate, its not going to be a reality. The start, as always, should be from ourselves. Ghar ki safai mein haath gande karne ka time aa gaya hai.
As I stood in line for the security check at the Mumbai domestic airport, being relentlessly jostled by fellow passengers, each of who, for some reason, seemed to be in more of a hurry than the other, I couldnt help but wonder how people who could afford to buy Rs. 10000 airplane tickets managed to be so uncouth and uncultured when it came to social behavior. And then it occurred to me - I was being such a fool! I have lived in India for 23 years of my life and after only 2 years in the US, I was expecting everyone here in India to act all prim and proper, like the cultured Westerners! Wait! Did I just call the West cultured? Those beer-guzzling, porn-watching, trigger-happy yappies painted as villains and everything that's wrong with the world in Indian media? Well, yes! Coz culture in this context doesnt mean not looking your wife-to-be in the eye in front of your and her parents (when secretly you are trying to picture her in various...err...."fun" costumes) . It means respecting the fact that other individuals are human beings too!
Now before people launch an attack on me and say I have become American, an NRI, no longer fit to be called Indian etc, let me clarify. Yes, we Indians are some of the most genuinely helpful people in the world. Yes, we will ensure a stranger knows exactly how to find his/her way to a new address if they ask us. Yes, we will in general be very nice to our guests and make sure they are comfortable and happy. Yes, we will do all it takes to maintain our relations in the best way possible. But yes, we are also the same people who will never obey a line! Yes, we will try to find loopholes in everything, from tax returns to real estate laws to traffic rules, and exploit them to the maximum. Yes, we will lech and daydream and yet never admit to it. Yes, we will also guzzle beer, watch porn and secretly harbor a wish to possess a firearm just for the sake of feeling macho, and again, in true macho style, never admit to it! Not everyone falls into all of these categories, but most of us fall into at least one of these. And its not all our fault. Lets face it - life in India is a struggle. You have to fight for every little thing that forms part of your day - from the line in the milk store to the line for the bus to finding your way among hundreds of speeding vehicles while trying to cross the road to haggling with the landlord while paying your rent to arguing with the MacDonalds cashier over getting the exact change in return. There are surely many more instances where we have to make a genuine effort just to stay afloat. And its not always about the money - more often than not, its about the feeling it gives you. You dont want to admit defeat and pay 20 bucks extra to the rickshawala because that would mean feeling like a loser for the rest of the week every time you see a rickshaw. Its all in the mind and its all a struggle - all the way.
So, when faced by a demanding situation, like the one I faced at the domestic airport in Mumbai, the natural instinct is to fight and ensure you arent late for your flight, even if take-off is a good 3 hrs away. The stark contrast between the international terminal and the domestic one hit me like a ton of bricks that day. The same Indians who were acting all sophisticated at the international terminal - progressing patiently in the lines, not making loud noises, not trying to tackle the old lady in front of them, not ogling at the hot lady in the low-cut dress - those same people had now become a totally different social organism - pushing at least 3 people simultaneously to ensure their security check happens before everyone around them, elbowing the guy in front to put their bags through the scanner before his, staring deep down the cleavage of a lady who dared to wear that bold an attire to an airport, redefining what a single file means by ensuring there are at least 6 people contesting for every spot in the "single file"! The competition to survive gets to us as soon as we are in an Indian scenario. And what's worse, some of us feel proud of it! We are proud of the fact that we have enough fight to survive in a line for the Mumbai local or in a bid to find a parking spot, even if it is by cutting across someone who came before us.
I loved the "holding the door open for the person after you" example in the article, because it happens to me all the time everytime I visit India! I find myself holding the door open for the people after me and they move out without so much as a cursory glance, and worse still, dont bother holding the door for the person after them! On one occasion, my dad had to chide me to let the door go after around 10 people had walked out without bothering! And this is not about some difficult-to-understand culture, these are simple etiquette, that we Indians surprisingly lack, the moment we find ourselves in an area with majority Indians. I have seen it happen at the Bangalore bus station, I have seen it happen at the Mumbai airport and I have seen it happen at the AMC parking in Santa Clara! Our Indianness comes to the fore right away, coz you know, its survival of the fittest. Sadly, we forget that the "fittest" arent always the happiest.
To wrap up, yes, the Western culture is fake at times, yes a lot of people dont mean to know how your day has been when they ask you "How's it going?", yes they have their issues with family, but yes, they also know how to behave in public, yes they also know why cutting across you in traffic is unfair and yes they know even if they are seventh in the line, its only a matter of minutes before its their turn and jostling will only make things worse and unpleasant for everyone. We Indians are some of the most compassionate people in the world. Unfortunately, we are also probably the most ill-mannered lot. And this can change, but it will take a long time and until the seething anger for disorder, corruption and other man-made issues doesnt abate, its not going to be a reality. The start, as always, should be from ourselves. Ghar ki safai mein haath gande karne ka time aa gaya hai.
