Jab Tak Thi Jaan

Jab Tak Hain Jaan is a story of some of the most stupid characters you have seen till date. Check this out -

A Punjabi NRI girl who bargains with Sir Jesus for every damn thing in life, ultimately bargaining for the life of someone she apparently loves immensely (while engaged to someone else, but we'll forgive her for that) in return for not loving him again ever (or as it seemed from later parts, not to sleep with him, coz you know, that's what true love is all about - sex). Dont even get me started on the lack of bottoms in her wardrobe - apparently someone told her women dont need to wear anything below the upper thighs, for that part is made of pure plastic. Incidentally, that is the same material as her face.

A wannabe, yuppie modern 21 year old missy, who makes out and breaks up with guys at will and considers that one of the achievements to list on her resume along with being a topper in every subject, being a champ at every sport, not to mention a National Level swimmer and deep-sea diver who doesnt realize the water in Ladakh lakes is cold before she dives into one for a bet as measly as her budget for clothes and almost drowns in it before being rescued by a brooding armyman who waits till she chokes under the water before pulling her out. Some National swimmer she is!

And finally, we have the hero of the movie, the kind of guy you feel bad for because he is saddled with dumb and dumber as the choices for his mate in bed. Why am I being crass, you ask? Coz that's what he wants most of the time - to do the dirty. Dont blame him though, for the plastic looks really good and National champ has a penchant for chaddis shorter than a purse and tops that will make a tank-top look like a burkha. Any man who can remember what that means will fall for that.

Which brings us to the worst enemy of the movie - the plot. The plot is so skimpy, it competes with Katrina's skirt and Anushka's IQ for brevity. Its something even Sherlyn Chopra would be wary of wearing. Or maybe not. The story is ridiculous to say the least and borrows liberally from children's stories - for instance that part about keeping your promise with God. It also makes a mockery of the Indian Army and the noble profession of bomb diffusion. The innumerable plotholes are not even worth getting into. The music looks bad on-screen, the hammy cameos by Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Singh are embarassing and saddled with unbelievable logic. The background score is remarkable and keeps you awake through the 3.5 hrs. The cinematography is breathtaking and gives the film a fresh and majestic look - something the film is quick to counter through trite dialogue and cring-worthy scenes. Katrina is a mix of John Abraham and Neil Nitin Mukesh. Anushka is a mix of Preity Zinta on coke and Zayed Khan not on coke. SRK is okay as the 25 year old Londoner (although he cant pull it off that well anymore due to age) and really good as the armyman. It was good to see him not resort to buffoonery after years! Sadly, he is screwed over by a terribly written film. The saving grace is the last song showing Yashji directing the movie. It is a delight to watch. Unfortunate that he didnt sign-off his directorial career with the evergreen and entertaining Dil To Pagal Hai. Jab Tak Hain Jaan takes whatever life was left in viewers after watching ignominies like Ra.One, Mausam and Bol Bacchan and dunks it into the freezing Leh waters. And there's no brooding armyman waiting to resuscitate you back to life.

Identity crisis

**Spoilers!!!**

While watching Ek Tha Tiger, the thought that kept hitting me again and again was that throughout the making of the film, the makers faced a dilemma and were unable to decide what kind of movie they wanted to make. Did they want to make a realistic story of spies and their world, or did they want to make a full-blown, no-holds-barred, quintessential Salman Khan entertainer which defies logic and earns whistles and claps in abundance? They couldnt decide, and finally, they ended up making a movie that is neither here nor there.

Don't get me wrong. Ek Tha Tiger is not a bad movie. In fact, far from it! It has a decent plot, it maintains its tone and tempo and even has some stunning action scenes. But it is not a very entertaining film. At the same time, it is not the best Salman Khan film ever, as is being touted. Nor is it the best Bollywood action film yet. Heck, it is not even the best spy movie to come out of Bollywood this year. But before we get into comparisons, let's talk about what worked and what did not.

The story concept, although not terribly complex, is interesting. What happens when a spy decides he/she wants to lead a normal life? Can someone who has been trained and who has sworn to put country before self for all his or her life revert the decision at some point of time in life and start a new life afresh? There are so many possibilities there and Ek Tha Tiger pretty much skims over them. The screenplay is quite dull and underplays everything. The stakes dont rise high enough - not in the emotional scenes, not in the funny scenes and surprisingly, not even in the high voltage action scenes. The action scenes are excellently choreographed though, and do appear slick and sophisticated. They are fun to watch but the experience continues to be underwhelming, because the stakes arent high enough, and as an audience member, you dont feel the action has an end purpose that you care about. The culprit here is the direction, which underplays everything and ends up making the entire movie look like a ho-hum effort. The background music is apt and does improve the impact of the scenes in places.

Music is a mixed bag. Banjara is the weakest of the lot and is picturised very typically. It also comes at a point where the momentum of the film is already low and acts as a speed-breaker. Laapata is easy on the eye and comes as a refreshing change in the movie. Saiyaara is perhaps the best placed song, but lacks good visuals to accompany it. Maashallah comes off as the best of the lot, especially since it appears at the end as the credits roll, and there is nothing it can do to spoil the effect of the movie. It is easily the most energetic song of the album and, in spite of an uninspired display of dance moves by the lead pair, manages to entertain. Cinematography is excellent and every frame looks beautiful and adds to the scene. The direction by Kabir Khan, who gave us the very interesting Kabul Express and the fine-till-the-muddled-climax New York, is confused and, for lack of decision, makes a meddle of a good story idea and opportunity.

The supporting cast is pretty good and does a commendable job. Girish Karnad and Ranvir Shorey are a delight to watch in particular. Katrina Kaif is ill suited to the role and although she does her action scenes with aplomb, her emoting is wooden and listless. A better actress could have done wonders in this role, which itself needed more fleshing out. Salman Khan does well as a RAW agent, especially in the first half where he is under disguise and in the action scenes. He plays his part with conviction, without going over-the-top and without his usual low-brow humor. It is refreshing to watch him do simple stuff without hamming or overacting. Where he appears unconvincing is the romantic angle, and that is because the romance is half-baked.

Ultimately, Ek Tha Tiger is a well-meaning film, which at only 2 hrs 10 mins takes too long to come to the point and then makes the point very meekly. In the process, it does not entertain enough and ends up being a middling effort. It is neither a massy film that caters to Sallu fans nor one that will win critical acclaim for its finesse. Again, it is not a bad film, just an underwhelming one. And all this because it faces an identity crisis.

The Tiger Roars...Review

Coming soon....

Ek Tha Mish-mash

Ever since the movie was announced, there has been a lot of anticipation for seeing darling of the masses Sallu bhai in a classy action role sans the juvenile humor that is usually part of his movies (and that drives me nuts! Why does he need to do those pathetic jokes in every single movie!). I was looking forward to the music even more since it is composed by Sohail Sen, who delivered very enjoyable music in Mere Brother Ki Dulhan last year. The album is finally out.

The album starts off with a very, very ordinary Mashallah, sung by Wajid and Shreya Ghoshal and also composed by Sajid-Wajid. Wajid screws up the track to some extent with his uninspiring vocals. And Shreya is the wrong choice for the song. Sunidhi would have been perfect. The Arabian theme is good but the execution is where the song falters.

Next up is Banjaara, easily the best song of the album. I had been looking forward to this song since I saw the shoot clips in Jan. My first reaction to the song was it is underwhelming. The violin tune playing throughout the song is lovely, but Sukhvinder is not in form. His part lacks energy. The song starts off classy, even reminding one of Dil Gira Dafatan from Delhi 6, then moves on to a massy base, and ultimately cant make a choice between being classy and massy; ends up being a middling effort. But after repeated listens, it is starting to grow on me.

Next up is Laapata sung by KK and Shreya. It is okayish and sounds like a leftover from Mere Brother Ki Dulhan. These kind of songs suited Sallu during his Dulhan Hum Le Jayenge days when he put loads of energy into the dances.

The album concludes with Saiyaara, which is another neither here nor there effort. Mohit Chauhan does well but is not in top form. The song sounds like a wannabe great emotional number but ends up being just that - a wannabe.

The Tiger theme is decent, but nothing great. Overall, I am disappointed with the album, although it isnt the worst of the year. Its just about average. Expected a lot from it and Sohail Sen after his chartbusters last year. Hope this is one of those cases where okayish music does not spoil the effect of the movie (think 3 Idiots)

Fire in the belly

I had not expected Karan Johar to back such an intense, gritty film, and I am pleasantly surprised he did! Agneepath is a difficult film to make, especially since the original, in spite of being a pretty bad movie with hammy performances, continues to live in memory of the audience. Kudos to Johar and director Karan Malhotra for making their own film borrowing only the basic theme of the original!

Agneepath is NOT your quintessential masala potboiler. Whoever claims it is probably does not know what a quintessential masala potboiler means! It is a dark revenge drama, replete with excellent performances, strong but rarely over-the-top dialogue and above all, hardcore, earthy action. The direction is really good, especially for a newcomer, and it is to the director's credit that he manages to extract focused performances from pretty much the entire cast! Rishi Kapoor as Rauf Lala is a knockout, and it is wonderful to see him play an out-and-out negative character at this stage of his career, not bothering about screen image and length of role. THIS is how a superstar ought to age! Sanjay Dutt is brilliant as Kancha and invokes terror every time he is on screen. His expressions, his dialogues and his overall demeanor are worthy of a villain and after the Munnabhai series and Vaastav, this is another performance of his that will be remembered for years! Hrithik Roshan carries off the main protagonist's role with a lot of intensity and pathos. His eyes speak when his lips dont and not giving him too many lines is a masterstroke, for I have always found Hrithik weak in the dialogue delivery department. He tends to mumble a lot and comes off as incoherent when given too many complex lines to deliver. Which is why he excels even more in this role which needs him to talk less and emote more. That he is brilliant at the latter is no secret and he proves it once again with a near flawless performance. Its just the end of the first month of the new year and we already have a couple of brilliant, award-worthy performances from Agneepath! Chetan Pandit as Master Deenanath Chauhan and Arish Bhivandiwala as the young Vijay are really good in their roles too. Cinematography is brilliant and complements the proceedings very well. The dialogues deserve special mention for being impactful without going over the top even once.

Now to the downers. Priyanka Chopra sticks out like a sore thumb in this mammoth cast and in spite of having almost nothing to do, still manages to botch it up by acting like someone who needs to be in a mental asylum. Once a competent actress, she has surprisingly lost all talent since 7 Khoon Maaf, which was perhaps the high-point of her career, acting-wise. Zarina Wahab playing Vijay's mother, has to make do with a confusing role and although she doesnt do a bad job, you cant really tell what her issue in life is. Does she not realize why her son is doing what he is doing? Does she not know a way of trying to stop him from being bad? Does she not want her daughter to never know about Vijay? Maybe she is supposed to be confused, but she comes off as indifferent, due to the poorly sketched role. The songs act like speed-breakers and at times, spoil the realistic portrayal of the story. Gun Guna is idiotic and takes the movie down a notch or two while it is on. Chikni Chameli is energetic but wasted. Shah Ka Rutba has some unintentionally funny choreography, although it goes well with the proceedings. Deva Shree Ganesha is superbly picturized and aptly used in the pre-climax. The background score is top notch and fits the mood of the movie. Action is excellent and, with the exception of one hilarious bit in the climax, takes the movie to a different level altogether. Thankfully, it is not over the top and very believable, which is a relief after watching some ridiculously choreographed set pieces in Bodyguard et al.

Ultimately, Agneepath is an action drama with a strong story and commendable performances. Its violent, yes, but its also gripping and in spite of being almost 3 hrs long, manages to hold your interest for almost all the time, which in itself is no mean feat. In times when good, sensible movies are few and far between, Agneepath is one movie that gives you pretty much all you could hope for from an action drama.

You live but once!

There are few movies that touch something inside you so deeply, you cant help shed a tear or two. There are fewer that make you do so out of self-realization. The last ones I can recall were Rang De Basanti and Dil Chahta Hai. Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara joins that elite list now.

How flawless can a script be? How perfect can scenes get? How to do spontaneous, everyday comedy without going over-the-top and without resorting to gimmicks? How to ensure all the protagonists in your movie get their fair share of screen space without making it unfair to the story and the audience? How to blend music so well in your movie, it becomes another character by itself? All these questions and more are answered effectively by Zoya Akhtar and gang in ZNMD! After her lovely debut in Luck By Chance, which I loved immensely and have watched at least 6 times btw, Zoya Akhtar has pulled out all stops to give us a delicious masterpiece! ZNMD is one of those rare films where every character is played spot on by actors who have some acclaimed work to their credit from before and yet who have managed to surpass their own benchmarks with effortless performances. The casting is perfect! I read somewhere that initially the movie was supposed to star Ranbir, Imran and Farhan, and am I glad those two refused the film!! Not to say they are bad actors, its too early in their careers to call them good actors just yet.

Coming back to ZNMD, I have never really liked Hrithik Roshan's performances before, except his beautifully nuanced act in Lakshya (directed by none other than Farhan Akhtar. Coincidence?) and his awesome cameo in Luck By Chance (directed by Zoya. Coincidence?). I always felt he went way over the top even when not required and his charm and body carried it off for him on more occasions than one. But in ZNMD, he is just awesome! Underplaying his character to start with and letting the real Arjun come to the fore later, his transformation is wonderfully captured and the scene in which he cries after experiencing a whole new world while getting rid of his fear for water is simply out of this world! Hrithik does a marvelous job and should be a strong contender at award ceremonies next year (which I am sure will neglect him for doing well in a multi-starrer and give it away to SRK for Ra.One or Don2 :| )

Farhan Akhtar is brilliant as Imran. I cant imagine many other actors who could have done this role better. Maybe Aamir Khan, but Farhan Akhtar brings a certain tempered energy and depth to Imran, that is the mark of a mature actor who knows the demand of the script inside-out. No surprises there since he has written the dialogues. His squabble with Arjun is one of the high-points of the trip and the movie.

Abhay Deol - the emerging Rahul Dravid of Indian cinema - underplays his part just right and brings the vulnerable and suave side of Kabir to the fore with such ease, you cant help but admire his thespian skills! Kabir is the glue that holds the group, the trip and the movie together, and although it is a bit of a thankless role with lesser shades than the other two, its made tremendously enjoyable by Abhay.

Katrina Kaif is pitch-perfect in an extended cameo, essentially playing the catalyst in the story. Her scenes with Hrithik are mesmerizing. Kalki Koechlin is a fine actress and does her job wonderfully well! Her lip-syncing to rock chick is hilarious and so real! Ariadna Cabrol, who looks stunning btw, draws the boys and us like a moth to flame. She is just wow! Naseeruddin Shah is dependable as always in a crucial cameo while Deepti Naval is effective too.

Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy give us songs that will stay anthems for a long time to come. Be it the spirited Kab Tak Gine Hum Dhadkanein, or the peppy Suraj ki baahon mein, or the foot-tapping Paint It Red, or the philosophical Der Lagi Lekin, or the beautiful Khaabon Ke Parinday, or the utterly enjoyable and wonderful Senorita, they elevate the movie to a different level altogether with each tune. The Senorita song especially is so well picturised, its as if you are there, sitting in the audience, watching your friends play fool in a public performance! Farhan Akhtar's poetry is deep and meaningful - unlike say, the smart-ass lines said by guide Rehan in that monstrosity called Fanaa. Cinematography by Carlos Catalan is top notch - Spain is on my list of next destinations! Zoya Akhtar and Reema Kagti have written a fabulous script, and Zoya does full justice to it with her flawless direction.

And finally, the philosophy of the movie is what makes it what it is! For how many of us have really been happy, and I mean really happy, from the inside, on getting every paycheck? In a world that teaches us to keep fighting to stay afloat, and by afloat I mean chase a billion after you have reached a million, ZNMD is a whiff of fresh air that tells you to...well go get some fresh air for yourself and your soul. You deserve it because its you who decides what you deserve and what you dont! :)

FAIL!

Vishal Shekhar turn in a surprisingly pedestrian soundtrack with TMK! Nothing much to write home about. The title track is different (sung in multiple voices by the versatile Sonu Nigam) but that's it....And its composed by Shirish Kunder. So, after the pretty ho-hum trailer (with the lame aadha Robinhood line!), the music is another indicator that this one's probably gonna be a damp damp squib...Only God can save this movie now! Or, you know, Katrina Kaif.

Or there's the slightest chance that the following might just do the trick :

Update within 12 hrs : I was wrong about at least 2 songs. The title song is highly addictive, despite being pretty silly....mainly due to Sonu Nigam's magical vocals....And Walla Re Walla, although seemingly okayish to begin with, is zany and a sure-fire riot on screen with Sallu and Akki sure to set the screen on fire....The album though still qualifies as a disappointment!

New Dork!

A glitzy, much-cliched, occasionally gripping, often boring, more cosmetic, less hertfelt, stereotypical YRF stuff, thts saved frm being pure YRF-trash by a sensible director with some conviction and a heart somewhat in the right place and competent performances by John and Irrfan Khan and yet let down by unnecessary and unwarranted glamour, one-dimensional Neil, laughable loopholes, and an extremely banal, pointless and senseless climax, tht made me laugh my guts out at the end of the film when i shud hv been touched by the sensitive material on display....Its a crime to make a bad movie, but its a bigger crime to spoil an excellent concept, which in fact is pretty gripping till the last hour! Congos YRF on doing it yet again!

Hello...

A pretty decent adaption of a pretty decent book, enacted by pretty decent actors who come up with some pretty decent performances, under pretty decent direction...Go in after reading all the movie-bashing reviews and u mit even feel lik u hv seen a very good movie :) A rare case whr bad reviews actually help the movie... :)

Check out what Chetan Bhagat himself has to say abt Hello...