Showing posts with label WTF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WTF. Show all posts

Saturday, October 29, 2011

No.One


Lets begin with saying that Ra.One is not as big a disaster as it is being made out to be - not because it is making so much money (although it's going to be tough to recover all its costs) and also not because it is a great film. Only that, in a world of Bodyguards and Readys, I am willing to give a substandard movie a chance. The VFX in places are very good, and a couple of scenes even leave an impact. What lets the movie down is ...well...everything else.

I am willing to suspend disbelief and grant cinematic liberties to the makers and ignore a lot of blunders. For instance,

1. Why would anyone make a game where the hero and villain are guaranteed to reach Level 3, no matter what, and the entire game essentially boils down to a single bullet fight, which can also end in a tie if both miss, or both take out their H.A.R.T.s or both just decide to collaborate and put the players in a quandary?
2. If not wearing your H.A.R.T. means the opposition cant defeat you, why would you carry it with you everywhere? Wouldn't treating it like a horcrux be a better way of dealing with the situation?
3. If Ra.One wants to kill Lucifer, why doesnt he do it on one of the innumerable chances he has?
4. If killing the irritating kid is Ra.One's only aim, why does he have to come up with elaborate and ultra-lame conditions for G.One like saving the local train and the people in it?
5. If the player can only play as G.One, why did they even make a Ra.One suit?
6. Why doesnt anyone miss the Chinese scientist Akashi for 2-3 days until the irritating kid goes back to the lab?
7. Why doesnt the gaming company give a tiny rat's ass about the fact that their latest game lab has been totally destroyed on the night of the game launch and their two chief game developers are dead/missing?
8. Why would you put a Tam-brahm in a coffin and then cremate him?
9. How can an android not be detected by metal detectors?
10. Why does Shekhar's Tamil accent come and go as per his whims?


I am willing to disregard all of this and more. Coz its a movie, you are not supposed to think so much. Enjoy what is being shown and have fun. Sure, I am ready to do that. Bring it on!

But...but....where is the fun? Am I supposed to find a kid saying "Condom condom" funny? Is it funny that a game launch party attended by friends and family of the team behind it, is graced by a large number of unwieldy butts? That the developer's wife decides to do away with the remnant of her dress in a party attended by her own 11-year old son so that she can titillate the crowd with her panties playing peek-a-boo? Is it funny that the kid's bday party has a highlight item number by his mom who drops her pallu, coz you know, that's what Indian moms do - they drop their pallus in a family party and dance away, baring massive cleavage? Is it funny that the security guard licks his lips seeing G.One's pierced nipple? Is it funny to grab, kick and generally salivate at the thought of a crotch? Is it funny to videostream a sex-tape of your teacher in class? The simple answer is no!

Coming back to the movie - it is fractured and poorly directed and edited. The dialogues fall flatter than Kangana's chest before she got the boob-job. Yes, I said that, and yes, it is inappropriate but then again, I did not promote my blog for 7 months as a blog for kids and I did not get a U certificate from the censors for the same. That statement is indeed offensive but I never claimed otherwise. So, at least I am not a hypocrite. The acting is horrendous - coming from talented people like SRK and Kareena. And Kareena can be forgiven, coz her role is half-baked and not terribly crucial. But SRK! Why would he make a fool of himself in a movie he has spent 175 crores on! Give me the charming Raj anyday over this pathetic Tamil stereotype character. Arjun Rampal is hardly there. Everyone else is insignificant - even the usually funny Satish Shah. The cameo by Rajnikant is just worthless - what a waste of so much star wattage! The cameos by Sanjay Dutt and PC are funny in parts but marred by horrible gfx and a jackass-like SRK in Veer's costume. The music sucks on screen - Criminal is killed by all that in-your-face booty shaking, while Chammak Challo is murdered by all the cleavage on display.

All said and done, Ra.One is a terrible disappointment - coming from SRK and given the fact he spent 175 crores on it. Its just plain bad - both as a normal movie and as a superhero movie. It has a couple of well done gfx sequences but that's not saying much given the costs. Bad direction, pathetic dialogues and ultimately a very boring movie! Please no sequel, please!

Friday, April 29, 2011

Dump Maaro Dump


Watching Dum Maaro Dum is actually like taking a dump, coz you know "Oonche se ooncha banda, potty pe baithe nanga"(@0:39). Wow! Did I repel you with that first line? Then imagine how the viewers must have felt when this line was repeated 4 times in a hideous non-item song, 1.5 hours into a movie that started with so much promise and by then, had clearly lost its way. But I am getting ahead of myself here, for such movies should be reviewed with relish. So, lets start from the beginning!

DMD starts off as a cool,stylish feature with lots of promise. The first hour, although a little too episodic, is well-paced and manages to hold your interest. And Abhishek's entry heightens the expectations with the proverbial twist in the plot that makes you go "Alright! Now on to the real story!" And that is the last time you can say the words story and DMD in the same line. For the director chooses to show Abhishek, an ACP, rapping on the streets of Goa, while he cleans up the place. And not just rapping mind you, lip-syncing to the rap. Lame would be an understatement. Nevertheless, the movie doesnt nosedive right away, it continues to hold promise, but another 20 minutes later, it is clear that this is going to be a long ride with an utterly unsatisfactory end, coz there is no way they can tie up those loose threads with any credibility whatsoever, especially with the set of writers they have got. What follows is utter boredom, reel after reel showcasing basically nothing. No doubt it takes a lot of talent to show nothing with so much at your disposal, and that is in fact an art, its just not what I paid 12 bucks for! The Dump song is the nadir and the movie can only rise afterwards, which it does. Only it takes awfully long to do that, and by then, you are desperate to get out of the theatre, coz there's only so much of "Baki sabke liye Google hai" (@2:25) that you can take sanely.

Of the cast, Prateik Babbar is a sheer embarrassment, with his whiney, juvenile portrayal of a, well, juvenile! Bipasha Basu is non-existant. (Note to producers : A bikini scene would have enhanced her presence in the movie considerably! Since you anyways decided to give her a weak role, a few more bucks spent on a fancy bikini doesnt seem like such a bad idea now does it?) Rana Who-ggabati is wooden and his dubbing artist is a douchebag. Aditya Pancholi takes hamming and growling to new pathetic levels. Govind Namdeo doesnt. And yes, he hams too! Deepika Padukone's rib-cage is a total turn-off. And my dear AB baby is surprisingly better than most of his other roles. But that's not saying much for someone who has "Dus Ass Wale" Raavan and "Tha Tha Tha" ACP Jay Dixit to his credit. And what's with the incessant referencing to daddy dearest's movies?? Get a life son, and get your own identity. I know a lost cause when I see one and yet I am saying this out of sheer respect for your dad, or what he once was. STAND.UP.ON.YOUR.OWN.FEET.

Technically, the film is superior but when the script is boring, there's little technique can do. Nevertheless, kudos to the team for getting something right. Ultimately, DMD is not even like taking a dump, coz that activity is actually satisfying. Its more like suffering from a severe constipation after eating something that tasted good but left a bad after-taste.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

FAIL!

Vishal Shekhar turn in a surprisingly pedestrian soundtrack with TMK! Nothing much to write home about. The title track is different (sung in multiple voices by the versatile Sonu Nigam) but that's it....And its composed by Shirish Kunder. So, after the pretty ho-hum trailer (with the lame aadha Robinhood line!), the music is another indicator that this one's probably gonna be a damp damp squib...Only God can save this movie now! Or, you know, Katrina Kaif.





Or there's the slightest chance that the following might just do the trick :



Update within 12 hrs : I was wrong about at least 2 songs. The title song is highly addictive, despite being pretty silly....mainly due to Sonu Nigam's magical vocals....And Walla Re Walla, although seemingly okayish to begin with, is zany and a sure-fire riot on screen with Sallu and Akki sure to set the screen on fire....The album though still qualifies as a disappointment!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Dus Ass Wale...



Raavan, without any doubt, is the WORST MOVIE I have seen in the last 10 years, probably even the worst I have ever seen ...I dont remember being as utterly perplexed and mindfucked while and after watching a movie since I saw Refugee and LOC, but even those had some redeeming moments...and some of the recent crap like Kidnap and Karzzzzz was of the so-bad-its-good variety....

Raavan is the lowest of low points in Mani Ratnam's career and Abhishek Bachchan's non-career...For some reason, Ash's (non-existent) cleavage hogs more limelight than any shred or iota of acting skill she allegedly has...I have seen some seriously BAD movies, and i mean real bad bad movies like Jai-Veeru and Team-The Force, and even they seem like Picasso in front of this Dus Ass Wala Raavan...Mindfuck! डोक्याला शॉट! डायरेक्टरच्या आईचा घो !

Sunday, April 11, 2010

EPIC!

My friend Sagar shared this howlarious stuff tht I cudnt help sharing....a few glimpses below....
Know you FB contacts!

Irony anyone?

The very definition of a trivial breakup!
Wait! Wha....?
Get a life! My favorite :D

Reinforces my belief about the dumb ___ stereotype! (Ping me if you wanna know the blank)

See the real deal here....contains risque, often tasteless, and really really gross, stuff...keep your fingers to yourself if ur too uptight...(i mean dont click the link :P)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Carnal humor?

This conversation happened today afternoon when me and my roomie, Adrit went shopping at Trader Joe's...

Adrit: Dude, u have picked up a lot of breasts! u sure seem to lik them!
Me: I like breasts!
Adrit: I picked up some thighs....i thot those wud b enough!
Me: Well...lets have some breasts too!
Adrit: U like breasts more or thighs?
Me: I kinda like both!!
Adrit: Ok lets take both then!

And then we realise tht quite a few ppl around r staring at us!

Later, as we moved to the billing counter, the chick thr got into the conversation...

Billing chick: I wonder why breasts r more expensive than thighs!
Adrit: Hmm...true its always tht way!
Me: ?!!
Adrit: I think thts because they have more meat than the thighs...that makes sense rit?
Billing chick: Yeah tht sounds rit...breasts r always more juicy than thighs...thr u go...have a nice meal... :)

If u havent guessed it yet, we were shopping for some chicken.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Kambakkht trash!

What do you call a person who knows how insanely idiotic a movie is gonna be and yet who turns up at the theatre the day aftr the movie releases, spending hard-earned cash and invaluable time on what he knows is gonna be guaranteed trash the day they announced the movie? Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to this insane jackass....yours truly!

Now moving on to the Kambakkht movie...To put it plainly, it is juvenile trash that sucks at all levels! There are a few laughs, sure, but only if you belong to the sadomasochistic variety... It will be an honour to this movie if we discuss plot and performances...So lemme move on to the only thing i liked about the movie - Sylvester Stallone! He has screen presence amounting to much more than the sum of individual screen presence of self-proclaimed King, or more appropriately Clown, Akshay Kumar, Aftab, Kareena, Amrita Arora, Jaaved Jaafrey and all other what-nots.
If self-inflicted torture is your idea of a good movie, then we have a gem here in the form of Kambakkht Ishq!

P.S. : If you know any female surgeon who moonlights as a model in her spare time, to pay for, get this, MED school (!), lemme kno...wud love to meet the chick!

Friday, April 24, 2009

A twist in the tale!!

The extent to which human mind can go to "ensure a few laughs" is outrageously wicked :D
(with all due respect to the players involved in the game!!)


Pray define an "honest" effort!!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Likely turkeys! :D

The following movies IMO are most likely the worst we'll see this year...Thankfully, Subhash Ghai hs no projects coming up (hopefully forever :D ) else i wud hv stopped watching movies altogethr :)
1. Billu Barber - altho the story revolves around Irfan Khan, the way SRK is being promoted as the face of the movie, it is likely to be a huge disappointment...and i dont really hv any respect for Priyadarshan's directorial skills...he stopped making good movies aftr Virasat...did i hear some1 say Hera Pheri ws a good movie?? well yeah, true, but essentially bcz of Paresh Rawal!

2. Veer - Sallu and screenplay writing!!! :O WTF?!! he did tht wit the insanely hilarious and crappy Chandramukhi 16 yrs ago and some ppl stil hvnt recovered frm laughing thr asses off! and aftr i saw this pic of Sallu, whr hes supposed to be a good samaritan-warrior frm ol' times, i cud barely stop myself frm puking!! :O Salman hs lost it (i kno, i kno...long back!!)...and whn u hv Anil 'Gadar' Sharma navigating the ship, it sure is a disaster waiting to happen! actually its one of those rare bad movies m actually lookin fwd to! hvnt ROFLd in a long tim :D

3. Main Aur Mrs Khanna - its a movie abt extra-marital affairs (how innovative!!) whr Sallu and Kareena play Mr. and Mrs. Khanna....and Sohail Khan presumably plays the 'affair'! :D with a debutant director at the helm of affairs, the Khan bros r sure to sabotage the project and serve us some yucky stuff tht wil leav a horrible after-taste! M sick of watching Salman and Sohali act 'funny' wit thr pelvis-crotch brand of humor!

4. Kajraa re - A 'realistic' movie abt Pakistan's infamous Heera Mandi area directed by Pooja Bhatt and starring Himess Bhai!! Noooooo...spare me the horror! :D

5. Hook Ya Crook - Directed by David Dhawan, John plays a cricketer in this movie :D :D :D and to top it, its touted as a thriller with a sprinkling of comedy and romance :D ha ha ha :D LOLs

6. Hidaba (watevr tht means!) - this one stars Rani Mukherjee as a girl who wants to play cricket and hence, she puts on a moustache and, hold ur breath, joins the boys team to play alongside Shahid Kapur.....ROFL :D :D :D to top it, Rakhi Sawant is said to hv a major role....all the more reason to watch the movie they feel :D and to top it even more, its a YRF film!...yikes :O sounds lik anothr Tashan to me! :)

7. My Name Is Khan - The mere fact tht SRK plays an autistic character in ths KJo venture hd me in splits whn i heard it for the first time! SRK and autistic!! aur kitna ham-overact-ham karega yaar!!!

8. All Govinda starrers - tht guy is back on hs ego-trip tht he hd to abandon mid-way in 2002 bcz of heavy public backlash...but one (thoroughly pathetic) Partner in his kitty and hes feeling euphoric again!

9. All movies Sanjay Gadhvi associates himself with - Mr. Gadhvi, seriously Dhoom2 and Kidnap are enuff! Get lost!!

10. All Akshay Kumar movies - i am sick of this guy...he made me cry wit every movie of his aftr Namaste London - be it Bhool Bhulaiya, Heyy Babyy, Singh Is Kingg or CC2C...no more Akki for me please!

i hope u all tk my cue and stay away frm these turkeys! lets b safe out thr! :)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A precursor of 09...

easily the best and most intelligent 'predictive' post i hv read in ages!!

http://wokay.in/2009/01/18/2009-in-preview/

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Rab needs to retire.Now.


As i cringed helplessly in my seat for the better part of 2.45 hrs, i cudnt believe the horror unfolding in front of me on the screen...Thr i was watching possibly THE most awaited movie frm YRF since long, and thr they were-the prime architects of the mega-project - Mr. 'I-am-the-greatest-ever' SRK and Mr. 'I-have-made-the-longest-running-film-ever-and-hence-I-rock' Aditya Chopra - botching up the film unforgivably! Day before, I had seen SRK harping in an interview abt how hs beloved "Adi" hd written the entire script in 12 days....now i kno how!

Rab Ne...is possibly one of the most gimmicky, illogical, irrational, chauvinistic and boring movies ever made...The plot is plain stupid/unbelievable, and while i can make my peace with tht, having likd a no. of David Dhawan films, the screenplay is, to put it mildly, pathetic, and the dialogues make u go "WTF" every now and then, and not for a good reason...SRK hams it up uncontrollably as Raj and makes u wanna eat ur own brains, surpassing his hamster-job in OSO by miles....to giv credit whr its due, he does try honestly and sincerely to portray a common-man character, and does succeed in a few moments...however, SRK being SRK, cant really change the way he emotes, and thts wt brings both the characters down...The new girl hs a single expression for the entire movie and u just cant undstnd wt the problem is wit her character...why does she agree to the marriage in the first place, why does she begin to lik Raj, why does she begin to like Suri, why, why, why....In fact the entire movie overflows with such why's...the girl does kno how to dance tho and she hs 'maintained' herself wel...so no complaints on tht count ;) Vinay Pathak does hs job wel altho hs character is so over-the-top u cant believ y HE hd to do the role...

but lets turn our attention now to the most crucial player in this entire melange...Mr. Rab...now, Sir, if ur reading ths frm somewhr, i urge u frm the bottom of my heart to retire....pronto...its high tim u let the humans in Adi Chopra's movies fend for themselves rathr thn banao-fying thr jodis...believ me...they dont need it....and neithr do we-the poor, hapless audience...

Turning our attention to the main culprit-Mr. Moneybanks....Aditya Chopra...i kno u lik to believe tht YOU are Rab...and the truth is, u need to retire before the original Rab (the 'uparwala pappe' as u ridiculously refer to Him in the movie!)... ur clueless as a director and very clearly stuck in a time-warp, much like Mr. Subhash Ghai, who gave us the 80s drama Yuvvraaj, and Mr. Harry Baweja, who ensured hs son wont get anothr movie by tryin to break the time-space continuum...and please-oh-please, kick ur dialogue writer for all he is worth...i wanted to kill myself whenevr i heard SRK saying in tht inimitably annoying style of hs 'Hum hain rahi pyaar ke....phir milenge chalte chalte' umpteen times in the movie...and the word Rab may soon enter the hall of fame of most used words in a worthless attempt at convenience and show-off...ditto for the ppl responsibl for the background music score...it gets so repetitive tht u start to feel somthngs wrong wit the audio...the no. of times they hv used the 'Haule haule' hook and the tune of 'Tujhme rab dikhta hai'....it drives u insane and makes u want to kill every1 responsibl for ths movie wit slow poison...

Thr r a couple of intelligent moments in the movie...especially the end credits, which r novel and interesting....and mayb the bollywood flashback song, which wud hv been a rage, hd v not seen somthng similar so recently in OSO, which btw ws light yrs ahead of Rab Ne.. in terms of intelligent humor (and sadly, stil dint manage to b path-breaking cinema, courtesy, once again, ham-star SRK!)...the placement of the song however, clearly shows the IQ level of the director...the songs r pretty good but fail to salvage the sinking ship...also, a couple of scenes r heart-warming and well-written, u thnk, but thn as soon as u begin to say to urself 'hey tht wsnt so bad....it ws pretty nice actually', the scene is stretched so much, it snaps into two, leading to the ugliest piece of acting and dialogue-delivery u cn imagine...and to make up for any sanity in the movie, u hv an array of ridiculously insane scenes, including the sumo-wrestler fight, the ILU light-up scene and the bike chase, which more thn manage to make u hang urself....

Also, the story reeks of chauvinism, and i cannot relate wit SRK trying hard to make his wife fall in love wit hs othr persona, and thn get all serious-an-emotional abt whethr she loves him or the othr 'him'...WTF dude, u startd the game and watevr she feels, ur utterly responsibl for it! m not even gonna bring up the pt of how the dumb @$$ Taani (yah...thts wt her name is!) cant distinguish between Suri and Raj, jus bcz of the outer appearance, altho they both hv similar emoting prowess...the famous monkey-expression on SRK's face is a dead, dead give-away...

This is possibly one of the biggest failures of the year, in terms of converting a good concept into a good movie, according to me...tht may not be the case for many, i kno, for, SRK enjoys an unending following...but all i wud lik to say is, Mr. Khan and Mr. Chopra, the world hs moved on....For an audience habituated to sumptuous food comprising of Rock On, A Wednesday, and even your own Bachana Ae Haseeno, and some tasty tit-bits lik Oye Lucky and Dasvidaniya, Rab Ne is lik the stale Chyawanprash tht ppl stopped eating long long long ago!

P.S.: ths movie doesnt deserv such a big review and so much of my tim...but thr r bound to b accusations of being anti-SRK(not entirely true) and promoter of realistic cinema(not at al true!), hence the detailed review :)

P.S. 2: check out http://passionforcinema.com/rab-ne-bana-di-jodi-a-question-of-answers/ hilarious :)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

What the Phoonk!


Is tht supposed to be terrifying?or is it funny?
Phoonk off RGV...You need a psychiatrist...and a better suited job...

Friday, October 10, 2008

LMAO...

The silliest comment i hv read on the internet in a long long time......

A 'guy' commenting on the review of kidnap on a news website...
Hi Minisha,
I male
You cute
When we marry?
Take care
Yours truly
Anil

Kidnapped cleavage....

Pardon my language ( to borrow a phrase frm A Wednesday)... but Kidnap is such an amateurish attempt at movie-making tht u can actually hv a gr8 tim laughing ur @$$ off in the theatre, just like i did...the only redeeming factor (just for guys...and some bicurious girls :P) is plenty of cleavage (and a lot LOT more) on display throughout the 2.25 hrs...if thts ur definition of wholesome entertainment, go for it! Its definitely not mine....altho to be entirely honest, i dint mind the 'show' at all. Which guy in his right senses would?!! :)

Can you believe this chick's been kidnapped a few hrs ago by tht brooding guy standing in the background???






...and check out her 'wardrobe' while shes in captivity!
@Mr. Gadhvi: As if Dhoom 2 wasnt enough!!!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Drona who?

By now all of you must hv seen the strikingly 'original', 'Mummy-esque' promos of tht horribly miscast, botch-up-of-a-movie 'Drona', which hs AB's baby playing an (utterly overweight) superhero in a ridiculously golden fantasy world...I happened to chance upon an interview of the director of the movie, who's fatso's childhood frnd and apparently thts his only claim to fame, othr than his trophy wife, the ravishing Sonali Bendre! (oh yes...he made tht long-forgotten flick 'Bas Itna Sa Khwab Hain' 5-6 yrs back, but i wudnt call tht a claim to 'fame'!)...The interview is a study in how some people love to dig their own grave...much in advance...its as if they are relishing thr own impending death... :)
Here's the article along with some 'vishesh tippani' :D
Bollywood Hungama reports:
Bollywood director Goldie Behl said his decision to make a sequel of his forthcoming film Drona will not depend on its box office performance. Behl, who had announced a sequel of his movie Drona even before its release, said "I will be making a sequel of it anyway. I hope that the film is well received, but even if it is not, I will go with its sequel".
BRAVO! You sure have guts!

"When I wrote this film, I had written so much that it cannot be incorporated in a single film. The end of the film leaves a question mark. So there is already a story before and after the film. It has a prequel and sequel written in the story form. I am sure people would like to know what happened before and after this," Behl said.
Really?! How can you be so sure of wat the ppl like and wat they dont? And if u hv perfected tht particular art, why dint u use it to design better promos thn the tacky ones currently on air?

The director said it now depends on Eros, Rose movies and Abhishek Bachchan to come up together as he is ready to start the sequel immediately after its release. Behl said Abhishek would be part of the sequel but as far as other actors are concerned he has not decided yet.
What about casting Aishwarya Rai? "Aishwarya is my 'bhabhi' and if she likes the subject and role, it would be privilege and honour for me to work with her."
Stop licking AB's feet, you jackass!And cut the 'bhabhi' crap....

Goldie Behl, who is the son of veteran director producer late Ramesh Behl, debuted as a director with Bas Itna Sa Khwab Hai which starred Abhishek Bachchan along with Rani Mukherjee and Sushmita Sen. Behls and Bachchans are family friends as Ramesh Behl had produced and directed various films with Big B which included hits like Kasme Vaade and Pukar.
Pukar??A hit?? It had the ignominy of being cald Tukaar rathr thn by its real name in the era bygone...

"Abhishek is my younger brother and I want him in every film unless he has no problem with it." So is there any chance for other actors in Goldie's film? "It will all depend on the script. I go with the casting according to the script and if there is any chance for any other actor I along with Abhishek will decide on whom to cast in the film."
Just observe how he contradicts himself!Abhi wil b in all his films....and yet the casting depends on the script whn it comes to othr actors!!! Or does this Goldie guy thnk AB can suit any role?! jus lik his over-exposed dadda! :P

About his future plans, Behl said after Drona his production company Rose Movies are planning for three movies, one of which will be directed by him.
"Film production has been our family business and we are now trying to come up with it in a big way," Behl added.
There have been speculations in the media that Drona which was supposed to be released sometimes in August was postponed to give Yashraj's Bachna Ae Haseeno a fair run in theatres. What does Goldie have to say on it?
"There is no truth in it at all. The release date was postponed as I needed more time to work on my special effects which is an integral part of it."
He said half of his film's look has been created in computer graphics.
"This is a super natural film where many things are fictional which need to be created in a computer and which takes a lot of time. So the time taken for it will be worth watching, that I can assure."
Beat this! The fictional 'things' need to be 'created' "IN" a computer!!! Which colg did u go to dude?

About the story of the film, he said though it is a supernatural story everyone will be able to relate to it. It is a film which children as well as grown ups can enjoy.
Now hows tht for originality!Never heard any director say tht abt his upcoming movie!

"It's an adventure fantasy which belongs to the category of Harry Potter or Indiana Jones. It is inspired by comic books, graphic novels and Indian mythology and it is truly Indian in approach."
Dude wait for the film to find its own destiny...M darn sure you will hv ur foot in ur mouth in 2 weeks frm now...And plz oh plz...Potter and Indiana Jones r legend franchises...ur moronic attempt at an Indianized version of Mummy-meets-paunch may not even come close to Hollywood crap like 'Journey to the centre of the earth' or even 'Mummy III'

It is the story of Aditya, a descendent of a royal family, played by Abhishek who realises the purpose of his existence and how he lives up to it.
Has Abhishek realised the purpose of HIS existence yet??

Aditya, who is also called Drona, fights with a powerful evil magician Ritz played by Kay Kay Menon in order to save the world from his evil intentions.
Ritz??Isnt tht the name of a French hotel?And dint this Goldie dude just say its an Indianized version?! He must b getting all old and senile...He wud rathr change his name to Oldie...
And hv u seen the TinTin-hairdo tht Kay Kay Menon sports as Ritz-the evil magician!Was tht a result of one of his evil magic tricks?! And why do all superheroes always hv to save the whole wide world??

The producers have spent a huge amount of money -- Rs.220 million -- for the look of Ritz, his den and troops and the special effects.
"We wanted to show Ritz as extremely powerful so we have created the atmosphere which builds up an extra-powerful image of the villain."
"The more powerful the villain, greater the conflict and more the excitement," quipped the director.
Oh crap! 220 million for tht fit-for-an-asylum-inmate hairdo and those tacky sandstorms???

However, Behl said the USP of his film is Jaya Bachchan. He said: "Jaya aunty is playing the reel life mother of Abhishek for the first time which is the USP of my film."
"She has a very important role in the movie which needs to be watched out for," Behl added.
You can guess how good a film is gonna b whn its USP is a real life mom-son pair debuting as an on-screen mom-son pair! This despite the Gold-jerk harping endlessly abt how the special effects cost so much of thr money and time!

The film, slated to hit the theatres Oct 2, also stars Priyanka Chopra as Abhishek's body guard.
The telling blow is dealt with a finality in ths last stmt which showcases tht the cry-bABy still needs someone to guard him...even aftr getting an ice-cold wifey! :P

Afterthought: Is Drona wearing a golden costume bcoz the name of the movie's director is Goldie? :P

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Some stuff you never wanted to know...

The net is replete with insignificant,moronic data...
Here's some food-for-nought...some invaluable addition to your "knowledge" ...
1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
2. If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.
3. If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's neck.


4. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
5. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
6. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

Now, did you know ANY of that?!!
And we call ourselves educated and learned...

Friday, September 5, 2008

Keep It Simple Stupid...

To quote my friend Harsh...(and to borrow a line or two frm his blog :D )

Statutory Warning: Chaste women, extra sensitive girls and overtly sensitive males... do NOT visit the link that is shown on this post. If you do, it will be at your own peril, I take no responsibility for anything the other guy has written. If it offends you, don't sue me!

Its a mad mad world...

The last line in the above article deserves special mention!

(@Harsh: I hope you dont mind the blatant plagiarization! :D )

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Can u recognize this guy?

THEN ....



....AND NOW :)



Found this extremely rare pic of Michael Phelps online...He was a tru champion right frm the beginning...or was it even before the beginning?! :D

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Two sides of the same coin...

One of the most over-hyped movies in recent times, the unimaginatively and abominably named 'Singh is Kinng' (Wats wit the extra 'n' seriously??! That doesnt make a 'good' film! A good script does!), released day before....Here's two facets of this so-called movie...
-------------------------------------------------------
Here's wat critic-unparalleled Rajeev Masand had to say about SIK (or rathr SICK!) on IBN....

Masand's Verdict: Singh is Kinng, a dead comedy **

Most films can be divided into two broad categories - those that aim to entertain an audience, and those that have been produced with the sole purpose of making money. As far as I’m concerned, Singh Is Kinng is not so much a film as it is a clever money-making racket.
I know that people who make films shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about wanting to earn money from them - I agree with that completely. My problem is with people whose only objective for making films is to make money - they could be in the construction business, they could be manufacturing cigarettes, but they just happen to be making movies for a living. My problem is with those guys.
Singh Is Kinng is a film that has little or no regard for its audience. It’s the kind of movie whose makers couldn’t care less if you hated the film, fell asleep during the film, left the film in twenty minutes, or collapsed from a stroke midway through the film. They only care about the fact that you paid your two hundred bucks and bought your ticket. To hell with you after that.
I understand all filmmakers don’t want to change the world - they don’t want to make message movies like Swades or Lage Raho Munnabhai. They probably don’t want to address issues either. I get that. But how can a filmmaker not care about engaging his viewer - how can he not care if his audience is entertained or not? If you’re making what you describe as a comedy, shouldn’t you want the audience to laugh? The makers of Singh Is Kinng simply don’t care.
What better example of their indifference than the fact that they make a movie that they claim celebrates the spirit of being a Sikh, and yet they completely disregard the most basic detail of Sikh identity - how can your Sikh characters sport turbans but not full beards?
We’ve all seen enough films by director Anees Bazmee to know that we shouldn’t expect very much in terms of plot, and Singh Is Kinng is no different. Akshay Kumar plays Happy Singh, a bumbling do-gooder in a nameless village in Punjab, who manages to offend his friends and neighbours with his knack for causing trouble.
No wonder they pack him off to Australia with the responsibility of bringing back another Singh - underworld kingpin Lucky Singh (Sonu Sood, that is) who has tainted the reputation of their village and their community by his infamous deeds. Once there, by a strange hand of fate - the kind you can only expect in Anees Bazmee films - Lucky Singh slips into a coma-like state and Happy Singh is put in charge of his gang.
Not only does the new King set about reforming this motley group of criminals, he also falls head over heels in love with pretty-but-vacuous Sonia (played by Katrina Kaif) who sadly is already committed.
Singh Is Kinng is the kind of film whose screenplay is constructed almost entirely on the basis of silly coincidences and misunderstandings - airline boarding cards get exchanged by mistake and as a result passengers end up travelling to wrong destinations; dumbfounded Lucky Singh points accusingly at Happy Singh but his gang misinterprets that as Lucky picking his successor.
If this kind of pedestrian humour isn’t your thing, then perhaps the toilet jokes are. Like that moment in which Happy Singh inadvertently pees on the face of another villager, or the one in which it’s insinuated that his privates get entangled in a table fan.
The problem with this writing is that there isn’t any - the screenplay goes from one stupid gag to another, one set-piece to another. Singh Is Kinng goes through the motions of a comedy, but there is deadness at its center - a feeling that no one connected with it loved what they were doing.
I’m one of those who hated Welcome, director Anees Bazmee’s last film - supposedly a comedy. I thought the plot was preposterous, the humour completely banal, and most of the performances below standard. It’s a film I violently disliked.
In all fairness, I can’t say I feel the same way about Singh Is Kinng - it’s certainly not as bad a film as Welcome although that’s not saying very much.
Singh Is Kinng is the kind of film that simply doesn’t arouse any passionate response - I didn’t love it, and I didn’t hate it either. I just didn’t care. And there I think lies the failure of this film - few of the characters are even remotely interesting, the story can’t exactly be described as original, and the actors aren’t in their finest form either.
Akshay Kumar has an endearing goofiness to him and he’s the only reason you’re willing to give this film a chance. How you wish he'd use his popularity and his clout to do better films.
Of the supporting cast, Om Puri and Kirron Kher give the film its handful of genuinely comic moments, while the rest try earnestly to raise your spirits with the kind of lines you’ve heard so many times before.
Katrina Kaif is an eyesore in every sense of the word - her costumes resemble something you might pick up in a fancy dress store, her acting so weak you want to urge her to watch everyone from Madhubala to Madhuri so she might pick up a few tricks. But my heart sank when I saw Ranvir Shorey wasted in a thankless supporting role. I can only hope a fat paycheck was his reason for choosing this film.
In the end, Singh Is Kinng is a dead zone of comedy. It might have been a time-pass film if the makers had made even the slightest of effort, but in its current form the only thing you can appreciate about it is the fact that it’s not terribly long. When the lights come back on in the end, you leave the hall completely emotionless. You just don’t care.
I’m going with two out of five for director Anees Bazmee’s Singh Is Kinng. I do hope the makers can afford swanky new BMWs from the money this film will invariably make. Someone should get something from this film, because the audience gets nothing.
Rating: 2 / 5 (Average)
-------------------------------------------------------------
Now here's a news report from, again, IBN....

A record breaking opening for Singh is Kinng

New Delhi: Akshay Kumar and Katrina Kaif starrer Singh is Kinng had a record opening in theatres across the country on Friday. The collections totalled to Rs 8 crores on day one and the weekend collections are projected to be anywhere between Rs 28 to Rs 30 crores.
The highest first week collections for a Hindi film till date is for the Shah Rukh Khan-Deepika Padukone starrer Om Shanti Om which earned Rs 37 crores. Modest projections for the first week collections of Singh is Kinng is put at Rs 45 crores, which could be a new box office record.
------------------------------------------------------------------
A really sad state of affairs i must say! After seeing senseless and pretentious movies like Dhoom 2, OSO, Race, Partner, and the like raze box office records and raise the bar considerably high (in terms of both-the moolah and the banality!), to see a 'dont-care' movie lik SIK poised to beat much much better movies like TZP, DCH, RDB, Lage Raho at the BO is sickening...Dont get me wrong...i loved the spoofs in OSO, the Filmfare spoof in particular rocked!even parts of Welcome,Partner and even, D2 were enjoyable (who doesnt want to see Hrithik in top form!)....but to see such mediocre and highly hypocritical stuff reign supreme at the BO is jus so unfair! These movies delivered nothing of what they promised...and all the good stuf was thr in the trailers...so if u hd seen a promo, u hd virtually seen the whole movie! Such undeserving crap leading the list of Highest-Grossing movies of all time is unimaginable....and yet, the fact is, more ppl thronged to the theatres to 'enjoy' SIK than to take in the msg in TZP...
As Dilbert's pointy-haired boss would have said, IT IS AS IT IS! Guess marketing matters much more and scores over content in this age!

P.S. read this hilarious review online and wanted to share it with you...foll are some of the excerpts...to catch the full review, go to http://www.bombaybitch.com/site/singh_is_kinng/

1. The Bitch‘s Verdict: Vipul Amrutlal Shah, I want my money back
2. Bazmee thinks he can pull off retarded cinema under the guise of an entertainer.
3. Pritam‘s music is doing the usual rounds but for all you know it was probably copied. Some music producer in Korea must be buying a ticket to India right now.
4. Katrina Kaif is bad as always. Apart from her bangin‘ bod she has little to flaunt. Nobody cares how she acts anyway and that accent of hers seems will make you want to drive a pen through your ear...Especially when she says "theeeenk you" in that Brit accent of hers, you feel like causing her harm, but thinking of Salman you dispense the thought swiftly. Even Neha Dhupia is looking better than her this time. And now that‘s an insult.
5. Speaking of Neha, all those so called stunts she kept on boasting of, which she did herself, are never shown in the movie. Probably she considers jumping, hopping, running and staying clothed as stunts. In that case... Bravo!
6. All this and more crap is at a theatre besides you. The question is, do you still want to go and watch it?
:D