Adios 2013!

As 2014 begins, it is time to list out what appealed to me (and hopefully at least a few cinegoers) most and what repelled me in 2013.

Movies I absolutely loved...
Kai Po Che - Delightfully heartbreaking tale of friendship and ambitions stymied by fate!
Raanjhanaa - Wonderfully realistic and irrational love story that ends as tragically as it begins
Raam Leela - A brash, colorful take on the bard's eternal love story accentuated by spirited performances
Madras Cafe - A hard-hitting docu-drama that takes sides but reveals enough while doing so
Lootera - A slow, yet impactful retelling of O. Henry's Last Leaf with melodious music and beautiful frames

Movies that were flawed but watchable...
Special 26 - A trying-to-be-smart film, which has its monents but which goes a tad too far in trying to swindle the viewers, not to mention the damage done by unnecessary songs and a tame romantic angle
Bhaag Milkha Bhaag - An at-times gripping biographical with unnecessary songs and bravado scenes to live out the fantasy of Milkha Singh
B. A. Pass - Faithful translation of Railway Aunty that focuses more on the lurid and less on the emotions
Saheb, Biwi Aur Gangster Returns - Interesting story brought down by the hammy Mahie Gill and the underwhelming climax
Aurangzeb - Interesting take on Don and The Devil's Double that is a little stretched and often underwhelming
Bombay Talkies - A couple of fantastic stories (Star, Murabba) marred by a couple of cheesy ones (Ajeeb Dastaan Hai Yeh, Sheila Ki Jawaani)

Movies I thought were overrated...
Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani - A coming of age film that focuses too much on long legs and pretty visuals and delves very little into the subject matter
The Lunchbox - A pretentious and boring film with some good moments
Shuddh Desi Romance - Unrelatable yawn-fest, where you lose track of who wants what as quickly as the characters in the film
Ghanchakkar - Too underwhelming for its own good

Movies I hated... 
Grand Masti - Unfunny, boring and lame
Zanjeer - Ghastly!
Chennai Express - Squanders some interesting ideas to deliver a stereotypical unfunny comedy with a hammy SRK in every frame
The Attacks of 26/11 - Terrible attempt at homage to the dastardly acts, punctuated with irritating background music, pathetic camera angles and deliberately bad acting
Chashme Baddoor - Bad remake of a really funny film, even Dibyendu Sharma couldnt save this one
Once Upon Ay Time In Mumbai Dobaara - Yawn-inducing soporific film about clowns who happen to be gangsters

And now for the awards....

Best Actor
Sushant Singh Rajput - Kai Po Che
Akshay Kumar - Special 26
Dhanush - Raanjhanaa
Farhan Akhtar - Bhaag Milkha Bhaag
Ranveer Singh - Lootera
Ranveer Singh - Raam Leela

Best Actress
Deepika Padukone - Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani
Sonam Kapoor - Raanjhanaa
Sonakshi Sinha - Lootera
Deepika Padukone - Raam Leela
Shilpa Shukla - B. A. Pass

Best Film
Kai Po Che
Raanjhanaa
Lootera
Bhaag Milkha Bhaag
Raam Leela
Madras Cafe

Best Director
Abhishek Kapoor - Kai Po Che
Subhash Kapoor - Jolly LLB
Anand L Rai - Raanjhanaa
Vikrmaditya Motwane - Lootera
Sanjay Leela Bhansali - Raam Leela
Shoojit Sircar - Madras Cafe

Best Supporting Actor
Rajkumar Yadav - Kai Po Che
Amit Sadh - Kai Po Che
Saurabh Shukla - Jolly LLB
Boman Irani - Jolly LLB
Mohammed Zeeshan Ayub - Raanjhanaa
Paresh Rawal - Table No. 21
Rishi Kapoor - Aurangzeb
Nawaazuddin Siddiqui - Bombay Talkies

Best Supporting Actress
Kalki Koechlin - Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani
Swara Bhaskar - Raanjhanaa
Konkona Sen Sharma - Ek Thi Daayan
Supriya Pathak - Raam Leela

Best Music Director
Amit Trivedi - Kai Po Che
Mithoon, Jeet - Aashiqui 2
Pritam - Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani
Amit Trivedi - Lootera
A R Rehman - Raanjhanaa
Sanjay Leela Bhansali - Raam Leela

Best Song 
Maanjha - Kai Po Che
Tum Hi Ho - Aashiqui 2
Sunn Raha Hain Na Tu - Aashiqui 2
Badtameez Dil - Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani
Manmarziyaan - Lootera
Raanjhanaa - Raanjhanaa
Lahu Munh Lag Gaya - Raam Leela
Ambarsariya - Fukrey
Zinda - Bhaag Milkha Bhaag

Best Male Playback Singer
Amit Trivedi - Manjha, Kai Po Che
Arijit Singh - Tum Hi Ho, Aashiqui 2
Ankit Tiwari - Sunn Raha Hain Na Tu, Aashiqui 2
Amit Trivedi - Ghanchakkar Babu, Ghanchakkar
Benny Dayal - Badtameez Dil, Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani
Sukhvinder Singh - Piya Milenge, Raanjhanaa
Shiraz Uppal, Jaswinder Singh - Raanjhanaa, Raanjhanaa
Javed Ali - Tum Tak, Raanjhanaa
Amitabh Bhattacharya - Ankahee, Lootera
Amitabh Bhattacharya - Shikayatein, Lootera
Siddharth Mahadevan - Zinda, Bhaag Milkha Bhaag
Arijit Singh - Laal Ishq, Raam Leela
Shail Hada - Lahu Munh Lag Gaya, Raam Leela

Best Female Playback Singer
Shreya Ghoshal - Sunn Raha Hain Na Tu, Aashiqui 2
Shruti Pathak - Shubharambh, Kai Po Che
Sona Mohapatra - Ambarsariya, Fukrey
Rekha Bharadwaj - Kabira, Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani
Shalmali Kholghade - Balam Pichkari, Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani
Shreya Ghoshal - Banarasiya, Raanjhanaa
Monali Thakur - Sawaar Loon, Lootera
Shilpa Rao - Manmarziyan, Lootera
Shreya Ghoshal - Nagada Sang Dhol, Raam Leela

Best Lyrics
Mithoon - Tum Hi Ho, Aashiqui 2
Irshad Kamil - Milne Hai Mujhse Aayi, Aashiqui 2
Swanand Kirkire - Manjha, Kai Po Che
Swanand Kirkire - Shubharambh, Kai Po Che
Amitabh Bhattacharya - Khoon Choos Le, Go Goa Gone
Amitabh Bhattacharya - Badtameez Dil, Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani
Irshad Kamil - Tum Tak, Raanjhanaa
Amitabh Bhattacharya - Shikayatein, Lootera
Amitabh Bhattacharya - Manmarziyan, Lootera
Amitabh Bhattacharya - Sawaar Loon, Lootera
Prasoon Joshi - Zinda, Bhaag Milkha Bhaag
Siddhartha-Garima - Lahu Munh Lag Gaya

Worst Actor Imran Khan - Once Upon Ay Time In Mumbai Dobaara
Shah Rukh Khan - Chennai Express
Ram Charan - Zanjeer
Vivek Oberoi - Grand Masti
Ranbeer Kapoor - Besharam

Worst Actress
Sonakshi Sinha - Once Upon Ay Time In Mumbai Dobaara
Sonakshi Sinha - R... Rajkumar
Amisha Patel - Race 2
Priyanka Chopra - Zanjeer
Pallavi Sharda - Besharam

Worst Film
Himmatwala
Race 2
Once Upon Ay Time In Mumbai Dobaara
Zanjeer
Besharam
Boss
Gori Tere Pyaar Mein

Worst Director
Sudhir Mishra - Inkaar
Abbas Mustaan - Race 2
Ram Gopal Verma - The Attacks of 26/11
Abhinav Kashyap - Besharam
Apoorva Lakhia - Zanjeer
Milan Luthria - Once Upon Ay Time In Mumbai Dobaara

Previous years : 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009 (best and worst), 2008 (best and worst)

Sanjay ki Leela ka Raam, Sanjay ke Raam ki Leela!

I had given up on Sanjay Leela Bhansali. Not that I was ever a huge fan of his, but his last few efforts - the much-overrated Black, the dull and soporific Saawariya and the good but too-long-for-its-own-good Guzaarish had left a lot to be desired. Gone was the innocence and honesty of the free-spirited Khamoshi, the playfulness and youthful romance of the wonderful Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam or even the grandiose and drama of the resplendent Devdas. There was no hope and in fact, I had resigned and moved on.  And then, I happened to watch SLB's latest last week. And was I mesmerized or what!

 GKR Raam Leela or Raam Leela, for short, as it was originally intended to be called and as it should be called, some prudes in the country notwithstanding, is a fantastic movie with great dialogues, excellent direction and spirited performances. This movie reminds once again what a good director can achieve. SLB has done a great job writing and directing the film and has brought out the best in all his actors. I wasnt sure how Ranveer Singh would do in a complex role and cringed throughout his entry song. But he rose to the occasion and how! He is just fantastic and I cannot imagine many other actors who could have done his chichora-with-a-heart role so well. Deepika is delightful and dances with aplomb, and although she falls short of being brilliant like Ash in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam or Madhuri in Devdas, she is miles ahead of all actresses of the current generation (perhaps except Vidya Balan). Glad Kareena did not do this film. She would have got rid of all the intimate scenes with Ranveer which were essential to establish the attraction between the lead pair. The Ranveer-Deepika chemistry is outstanding! Supriya Pathak shines in an author-backed role and effortlessly chews the screen when she is in it. While you can see Deepika is putting in a lot of effort to carry off the role, and Ranveer is taking it easy, Supriya Pathak is completely effortless and that comes only with experience. All supporting actors do their bit well. Music is fantastic and beautifully used. Especially, Lahu Munh Lag Gaya, Ang Laga De and Laal Ishq are haunting; Ram Chahe Leela, Nagada Sang Dhol, Ishqyaon and Tattad Tattad are appropriately placed and lift the movie a couple of notches. Dialogues are superb and bring freshness and fun to the proceedings.

There are a few glitches in the script like the ridiculous contract scene in the end, and the movie could have been about 20 mins shorter, but with the rest of it being so enjoyable, you would be willing to gloss over the glitches. SLB is the real hero of this venture and now I am looking forward to seeing his next. He is back with a bang!

Goodbye 2012, hello 2013

The year is over and its time to wrap up with lists and awards. So, here they are :)

Movies I absolutely loved...
English Vinglish - Delightfully simple and well-told story with super acting by Sridevi
OMG Oh My God! - A difficult concept portrayed in an effective way
Kahaani - Taut, well-paced, suspense thriller
Barfi! - Fun, bitter-sweet movie with great acting by all leads

Movies I enjoyed...
Agneepath - Intense masala done well with very good performances
Vicky Donor - Novel concept executed with great impact
Rowdy Rathore - Massy masala done in the most entertaining way possible

Movies that were flawed but watchable...
Talaash - A very gripping suspense till the climax, after which the movie goes downhill
Cocktail - An on-off urban tale of relationships
Agent Vinod - An overlong spy story with some great scenes and movie references
Ek Tha Tiger - Decent first half, wayward second half; overall a dull but watchable Salman movie after years

Movies I thought were overrated...
Gangs of Wasseypur I - Over-indulgent, overlong and stupefyingly boring tale with a one line story
Gangs of Wasseypur II - Takes forever to come to the point and the point is excruciatingly stupid
Ishaqzaade - Waters down a crackling start and sparkling performance by Parineeti with some overwhelmingly stupid twists and a never-ending last hour
Dabangg 2 - Laziest sequel ever; nothing even remotely interesting happens in the movie

Movies I hated...
Kya Super Kool Hain Hum - As crass as it can get
Jab Tak Hain Jaan - As dumb as a story can get

Movies I decided to miss...
Housefull 2 - Could not bear the thought of watching John and Akki in a Sajid Khan comedy
Bol Bacchan - Ajay Devgan is terrible at comedy!
Joker - The trailer made things amply clear
Son of Sardaar - Ajay Devgan and Sanjay Dutt are both awful at comedy
Khiladi 786 - What crap!

And now for the awards....

Best Film
Kahaani
Agneepath
Barfi!
English Vinglish
OMG Oh My God!

Best Director
Sujoy Ghosh - Kahaani
Anurag Basu - Barfi!
Habib Faisal - Ishaqzaade
Karan Malhotra - Agneepath
Gauri Shinde - English Vinglish

Best Actor
Hrithik Roshan - Agneepath
Ranbir Kapoor - Barfi!
Irrfan Khan - Paan Singh Tomar
Akshay Kumar - Rowdy Rathore
Paresh Rawal - OMG Oh My God!
Ayushman Khurrana - Vicky Donor

Best Actress
Vidya Balan - Kahaani
Deepika Padukone - Cocktail
Priyanka Chopra - Barfi!
Parineeti Chopra - Ishaqzaade
Sridevi - English Vinglish

Best Supporting Actor
Rishi Kapoor - Agneepath
Boman Irani - Ferrari Ki Sawaari
Saurabh Shukla - Barfi!
Anu Kapoor - Vicky Donor
Abhay Deol - Shanghai
Akshay Kumar - OMG Oh My God!

Best Supporting Actress
Diana Penty - Cocktail
Ileana D' Cruz - Barfi!
Dolly Ahluwalia - Vicky Donor
Kareena Kapoor  - Talaash
Huma Qureshi - Gangs of Wasseypur II
Richa Chaddha - Gangs of Wasseypur I & II

Best Music
Pritam - Cocktail
Ajay-Atul - Agneepath
Amit Trivedi - Ishaqzaade
Pritam - Barfi!
Ram Sampath - Talaash
Amit Trivedi - English Vinglish

Best Song
Tumhi Ho Bandhu - Cocktail
Chikni Chameli - Agneepath
Pani Da Rang - Vicky Donor
Pareshaan - Ishaqzaade
Aashiayan - Barfi!

Best Male Playback Singer
Ayushmaan Khurana - Pani Da Rang (Vicky Donor)
Arif Lohar - Jugni (Cocktail)
Sonu Nigam - Abhi Mujh Mein Kahin (Agneepath)
Mohit Chauhan - Barfi (Barfi!)
Nikhil Paul George - Main Kya Karoon (Barfi!)
Phir Le Aya Dil - Arijit Singh (Barfi!)

Best Female Playback Singer
Shalmali Kholgade - Pareshaan (Ishaqzaade)
Kavita Seth - Tumhi Ho Bandhu (Cocktail)
Shreya Ghoshal - Chikni Chameli (Agneepath)
Neeti Mohan - Jiya Re (Jab Tak Hai Jaan)
Shreya Ghoshal - Radha (Student Of The Year)

Best Lyricist
Irshad Kamil - Luttna (Cocktail)
Irshad Kamil - Tumhi Ho Bandhu (Cocktail)
Javed Akhtar - Jee Le Zara (Talaash)
Amitabh Bhattacharya - Abhi Mujhe Mein Kahin (Agneepath)
Swanand Kirkire - Aashiyan (Barfi!)
Kausar Munir - Pareshaan (Ishaqzaade)
Ayushman Khurrana, Rochak Kohli - Pani Da Rang (Vicky Donor)

Best Story
Gauri Shinde - English Vinglish
Bhavesh Mandaliya, Umesh Shukla - OMG Oh My God!
Tigmanshu Dhulia - Paan Singh Tomar
Sujoy Ghosh, Advaita Kala - Kahaani
Anurag Basu - Barfi!
Juhi Chaturvedi - Vicky Donor

Best Screenplay
Gauri Shinde - English Vinglish
Sujoy Ghosh, Suresh Nair, Nikhil Vyas - Kahaani
Reema Kagti, Zoya Akhtar - Talaash
Shiraz Ahmad - Rowdy Rathore
Bhavesh Mandaliya, Umesh Shukla - OMG Oh My God!

Best Dialogues
Juhi Chaturvedi - Vicky Donor
Zeishan Qadri, Anurag Kashyap - Gangs Of Wasseypur I
Zeishan Qadri, Anurag Kashyap - Gangs Of Wasseypur II
Bhavesh Mandaliya, Umesh Shukla - OMG Oh My God!
Habib Faisal - Ishaqzaade

Previous years : 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008 (lists and worst)

Jab Tak Thi Jaan

Jab Tak Hain Jaan is a story of some of the most stupid characters you have seen till date. Check this out -

A Punjabi NRI girl who bargains with Sir Jesus for every damn thing in life, ultimately bargaining for the life of someone she apparently loves immensely (while engaged to someone else, but we'll forgive her for that) in return for not loving him again ever (or as it seemed from later parts, not to sleep with him, coz you know, that's what true love is all about - sex). Dont even get me started on the lack of bottoms in her wardrobe - apparently someone told her women dont need to wear anything below the upper thighs, for that part is made of pure plastic. Incidentally, that is the same material as her face.

A wannabe, yuppie modern 21 year old missy, who makes out and breaks up with guys at will and considers that one of the achievements to list on her resume along with being a topper in every subject, being a champ at every sport, not to mention a National Level swimmer and deep-sea diver who doesnt realize the water in Ladakh lakes is cold before she dives into one for a bet as measly as her budget for clothes and almost drowns in it before being rescued by a brooding armyman who waits till she chokes under the water before pulling her out. Some National swimmer she is!

And finally, we have the hero of the movie, the kind of guy you feel bad for because he is saddled with dumb and dumber as the choices for his mate in bed. Why am I being crass, you ask? Coz that's what he wants most of the time - to do the dirty. Dont blame him though, for the plastic looks really good and National champ has a penchant for chaddis shorter than a purse and tops that will make a tank-top look like a burkha. Any man who can remember what that means will fall for that.

Which brings us to the worst enemy of the movie - the plot. The plot is so skimpy, it competes with Katrina's skirt and Anushka's IQ for brevity. Its something even Sherlyn Chopra would be wary of wearing. Or maybe not. The story is ridiculous to say the least and borrows liberally from children's stories - for instance that part about keeping your promise with God. It also makes a mockery of the Indian Army and the noble profession of bomb diffusion. The innumerable plotholes are not even worth getting into. The music looks bad on-screen, the hammy cameos by Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Singh are embarassing and saddled with unbelievable logic. The background score is remarkable and keeps you awake through the 3.5 hrs. The cinematography is breathtaking and gives the film a fresh and majestic look - something the film is quick to counter through trite dialogue and cring-worthy scenes. Katrina is a mix of John Abraham and Neil Nitin Mukesh. Anushka is a mix of Preity Zinta on coke and Zayed Khan not on coke. SRK is okay as the 25 year old Londoner (although he cant pull it off that well anymore due to age) and really good as the armyman. It was good to see him not resort to buffoonery after years! Sadly, he is screwed over by a terribly written film. The saving grace is the last song showing Yashji directing the movie. It is a delight to watch. Unfortunate that he didnt sign-off his directorial career with the evergreen and entertaining Dil To Pagal Hai. Jab Tak Hain Jaan takes whatever life was left in viewers after watching ignominies like Ra.One, Mausam and Bol Bacchan and dunks it into the freezing Leh waters. And there's no brooding armyman waiting to resuscitate you back to life.

Sweet!

Barfi! is the kind of film that makes you care about the characters - smile with them, feel for them, empathize with their situation, root for them and ultimately, be with them in spirit in their journey. For this reason alone, it is a film that needs to be commended and promoted. That it achieves all of this and also manages to entertain is a complete bonus, and a delightful one at that!

Anurag Basu shakes off the effects of the monstrous snoozathon, remembered as Kites by the more adventurous who dared to watch it, and as the-Sphinglish-movie-that-almost-killed-Hrithik-Roshan's-career by others, and returns to his Gangster and Life..In a Metro roots to cook up a tasty, heart-warming, feel-good movie that focuses on characters and their lives rather than the audience's money. The story is beautiful and maturely handled. The cinematography is top notch. So is the background score by Pritam, which adds even more life to the movie. The music is perfect and used exceedingly well in the proceedings. The dialogues are minimal, given the predicament of the main protagonist, and yet, the few that exist, are well-written. The feel of the movie is cheerful, and in spite of the grave topics touched, remains happy throughout. The silent dramedy genre is not tried too often in Hindi cinema, and when it is tried so well, all you want to do is stand up and applaud. The supporting cast is apt and Saurabh Shukla in particular is delightful as a harrowed cop troubled by years of misdeeds by the protagonist. When you compare his portrayal of the character with something similar shown in typical Hindi movies, like Amitabh's character in the God-awful Bunty Aur Babli, you can see how we as an audience, have always valued star wattage more than good acting. And 7 years hence, things havent changed much. Even today, an Akshay Kumar for a Rowdy Rathore or an Ajay Devgan for a Bol Bacchan continues to get more acclaim for their "different" roles, over someone like Saurabh Shukla in this film or Anu Kapoor in Vicky Donor. Not to take anything away from Kumar or Devgan. They just happen to have larger fan bases. Ultimately, it is gems like Barfi! that wake us up from our mediocre slumber party.

The direction is of top quality, and in spite of loopholes like the predictable whodunit track, or the shaky back-and-forth in timelines, it does complete justice to the written word. The screenplay is brilliant and easily the best of the year yet. Coming to performances, Ileana exudes charm and confidence in her Hindi debut and fits her Bong character to the T. Hardly can you guess from her portrayal of Shruti that she is a born Goan, who has been working in mindless Telugu masala for 6 years. For someone whose hips, rather than emoting skills, have been the focus of much discussion for years down in Tollywood, Ileana does very very well and has Anurag Basu to thank for, for sketching such a meaty character for her debut. Priyanka Chopra packs a complete surprise! I had expected her to ape SRK from MNIK and was cringing at the thought of enduring that through the movie, but she plays the role subtle and subdued, with the right amount of energy when required. After Saat Khoon Maaf, here is another performance she can be proud of, when she eventually hangs up her boots. And finally, to the star of the show - Mr. Ranbir Kapoor. After wowing us in Wake Up Sid, RocketSingh, Raajneeti and Rockstar, RK delivers another masterstroke in and as Barfi. It is a very difficult character to play at any stage of your career, let alone so early, and I cannot imagine anyone doing as much justice to it as Ranbir does. He immerses himself completely and makes you smile when he plucks his heart out for Shruti, feel for him when he discovers he has no chance with her, and root for him when he is out to help Jhilmil. Doing physical comedy is no mean feat and the only one who has managed it well in the last 20 years is Govinda. RK however does a very different take on physical comedy, more of the Chaplinesque variety, and manages it with aplomb. No words can describe the brilliance of his performance. He is sure to sweep all awards and critical acclaim this year as well.

Ultimately, Barfi! is a film which deserves being seen, for few films are so sincerely made and yet manage not to take themselves too seriously. Missing it will be like missing out on something truly not worth missing, like a ummm....well made Barfi? :)

Identity crisis

**Spoilers!!!**

While watching Ek Tha Tiger, the thought that kept hitting me again and again was that throughout the making of the film, the makers faced a dilemma and were unable to decide what kind of movie they wanted to make. Did they want to make a realistic story of spies and their world, or did they want to make a full-blown, no-holds-barred, quintessential Salman Khan entertainer which defies logic and earns whistles and claps in abundance? They couldnt decide, and finally, they ended up making a movie that is neither here nor there.

Don't get me wrong. Ek Tha Tiger is not a bad movie. In fact, far from it! It has a decent plot, it maintains its tone and tempo and even has some stunning action scenes. But it is not a very entertaining film. At the same time, it is not the best Salman Khan film ever, as is being touted. Nor is it the best Bollywood action film yet. Heck, it is not even the best spy movie to come out of Bollywood this year. But before we get into comparisons, let's talk about what worked and what did not.

The story concept, although not terribly complex, is interesting. What happens when a spy decides he/she wants to lead a normal life? Can someone who has been trained and who has sworn to put country before self for all his or her life revert the decision at some point of time in life and start a new life afresh? There are so many possibilities there and Ek Tha Tiger pretty much skims over them. The screenplay is quite dull and underplays everything. The stakes dont rise high enough - not in the emotional scenes, not in the funny scenes and surprisingly, not even in the high voltage action scenes. The action scenes are excellently choreographed though, and do appear slick and sophisticated. They are fun to watch but the experience continues to be underwhelming, because the stakes arent high enough, and as an audience member, you dont feel the action has an end purpose that you care about. The culprit here is the direction, which underplays everything and ends up making the entire movie look like a ho-hum effort. The background music is apt and does improve the impact of the scenes in places.

Music is a mixed bag. Banjara is the weakest of the lot and is picturised very typically. It also comes at a point where the momentum of the film is already low and acts as a speed-breaker. Laapata is easy on the eye and comes as a refreshing change in the movie. Saiyaara is perhaps the best placed song, but lacks good visuals to accompany it. Maashallah comes off as the best of the lot, especially since it appears at the end as the credits roll, and there is nothing it can do to spoil the effect of the movie. It is easily the most energetic song of the album and, in spite of an uninspired display of dance moves by the lead pair, manages to entertain. Cinematography is excellent and every frame looks beautiful and adds to the scene. The direction by Kabir Khan, who gave us the very interesting Kabul Express and the fine-till-the-muddled-climax New York, is confused and, for lack of decision, makes a meddle of a good story idea and opportunity.

The supporting cast is pretty good and does a commendable job. Girish Karnad and Ranvir Shorey are a delight to watch in particular. Katrina Kaif is ill suited to the role and although she does her action scenes with aplomb, her emoting is wooden and listless. A better actress could have done wonders in this role, which itself needed more fleshing out. Salman Khan does well as a RAW agent, especially in the first half where he is under disguise and in the action scenes. He plays his part with conviction, without going over-the-top and without his usual low-brow humor. It is refreshing to watch him do simple stuff without hamming or overacting. Where he appears unconvincing is the romantic angle, and that is because the romance is half-baked.

Ultimately, Ek Tha Tiger is a well-meaning film, which at only 2 hrs 10 mins takes too long to come to the point and then makes the point very meekly. In the process, it does not entertain enough and ends up being a middling effort. It is neither a massy film that caters to Sallu fans nor one that will win critical acclaim for its finesse. Again, it is not a bad film, just an underwhelming one. And all this because it faces an identity crisis.

Two sides of the same coin?

I finally got around to watching two of the most hyped Marathi films in recent times - Deool and Shala - and I must say the experience was a bit like having a Krackjack biscuit. Lets talk about Deool first.

Deool is a very well-directed, well-enacted tale of beliefs and how man uses God for his own benefit. Its starts off slow and slightly difficult to decipher, but grows with each scene, until it reaches a high-point by the intermission. The scenes in the second half are well etched too and the end is just perfect, fittingly allowing Girish Kulkarni a couple of scenes of his own with "his" Datta. The village setting, the lingo, the playful politician couple, the mandatory female Sarpancha backed by a stronger hand, the older generation's obsession with TV soaps, the youth leader's mental tussle between backing his uncle who brought him up and backing his instincts which could open more doors for him, the transformation of the village from a serene place to a bustling worship-center, the economic upturn and its downsides, the demoralization of a good-natured man who wants to do good for his village but cant make others see it, and ultimately, the mental turmoil of the simpleton who is the reason for the change but not the beneficiary - it is all protrayed so well, that the director Umesh Kulkarni deserves a pat on his back. He has tried hard to stay on course and although there are a couple of weak points - like the item song under the garb of using a celebrity show for publicity and using a famous actor in a gimmicky cameo in the climax - those are minor abberations in an otherwise well-conceived project. All actors do full justice to their parts - right from Dilip Prabhawalkar as the well-meaning Appa, Nana Patekar as the chameleon-like Bhau, Hrishikesh Joshi as the ridiculously-named Tomya, Srikant Yadav as the seething-with-anger Anna, Sonali Kulkarni as the flirtatious Vahini saheb, and last but not the least, National award winner Girish Kulkarni as the god-fearing simpleton Keshya. The dialogues strike a perfect balance between being hilarious and poignant, and the irony in the scenes takes the movie several notches higher. The songs are just awesome - especially the bhajan Deva Tula Shodhu Kutha and the parody Phoda Datta Naam Taho. They are not only well sung but also brilliantly penned and add to the sarcastic nature of the story. The end is very apt and makes you cry for the poor Keshya who has lost his cow to the commercialization of God, but who finally comes into his own by sending a message back to the establishment, even though he knows it will have only a minor effect. Deool entertains and also makes you think about what is wrong with the way we view progress and the cost at which we achieve it. A movie you cannot afford to miss!

Shala, on the other hand, is a take on adolescent love in school days, with the backdrop of emergency. It tries to provide an unbiased view of how teens think and behave, and what shapes their thoughts, without being judgemental. Shala is helped by a very good performance from Anshuman Joshi as the main protagonist Joshya, through whose eyes we see the world. The setting is authentic and the camaraderie between Joshya and his buddies Fawdya and Mhatre is sure to bring back memories of your own buddies from school. Ketaki Mategaonkar is sweet as Shirodkar and you can see why Joshya falls for her. Most of the teachers do a good job and a few scenes like the one which draws parallels between what is happening in the country at the time of emergency and what happens in the classroom when Shirodkar doesnt put a brown cover on her book, or the one where Joshya's father listens to his side of the story considerately before reaching a conclusion, are very well handled. Where the movie falters big time is in its direction, in all senses. The story does not have any direction, and while it is quite understandable that debutant director Sujay Dahake wanted to come up with a slice-of-life film, Shala does not have enough entertaining or interesting moments to keep you hooked for 98 mins. Now when a movie cant do that for such a short span of time, its asking for trouble. Most topics broached are just poked at and then left alone, which left me tremendously dissatisfied as a viewer. For eg. the parallels between emergency and classroom atmosphere started out very well but the emergency angle petered out very tamely in the end. The issue of a newly admitted Bandra girl trying to commit suicide because her classmates tease her using their favorite teacher's name was handled very very amateurishly. If the issue was not important or did not deserve a proper conclusion, why bring it up at all! The character of Joshya's uncle was half-baked and did not go to its full potential. Even Joshya's own philosophies were under-developed, and while that is understandable since he is only 14 years old, the message that the movie gave out was terribly confusing and that is not pardonable. Every movie need not have a message or take a stand, but a half-baked, lily-livered message is worse than no message at all. Shala succeeds on one count, and that is invoking nostalgia. Unfortunately, it fails on most other counts - story-telling, entertainment and holding the viewer's interest. Its not so much a bad film as it is an amateurish attempt at making a feel-good film. Ultimately, it ends up being a pretentious, wannabe film, that could have been so much more.

Fire in the belly

I had not expected Karan Johar to back such an intense, gritty film, and I am pleasantly surprised he did! Agneepath is a difficult film to make, especially since the original, in spite of being a pretty bad movie with hammy performances, continues to live in memory of the audience. Kudos to Johar and director Karan Malhotra for making their own film borrowing only the basic theme of the original!

Agneepath is NOT your quintessential masala potboiler. Whoever claims it is probably does not know what a quintessential masala potboiler means! It is a dark revenge drama, replete with excellent performances, strong but rarely over-the-top dialogue and above all, hardcore, earthy action. The direction is really good, especially for a newcomer, and it is to the director's credit that he manages to extract focused performances from pretty much the entire cast! Rishi Kapoor as Rauf Lala is a knockout, and it is wonderful to see him play an out-and-out negative character at this stage of his career, not bothering about screen image and length of role. THIS is how a superstar ought to age! Sanjay Dutt is brilliant as Kancha and invokes terror every time he is on screen. His expressions, his dialogues and his overall demeanor are worthy of a villain and after the Munnabhai series and Vaastav, this is another performance of his that will be remembered for years! Hrithik Roshan carries off the main protagonist's role with a lot of intensity and pathos. His eyes speak when his lips dont and not giving him too many lines is a masterstroke, for I have always found Hrithik weak in the dialogue delivery department. He tends to mumble a lot and comes off as incoherent when given too many complex lines to deliver. Which is why he excels even more in this role which needs him to talk less and emote more. That he is brilliant at the latter is no secret and he proves it once again with a near flawless performance. Its just the end of the first month of the new year and we already have a couple of brilliant, award-worthy performances from Agneepath! Chetan Pandit as Master Deenanath Chauhan and Arish Bhivandiwala as the young Vijay are really good in their roles too. Cinematography is brilliant and complements the proceedings very well. The dialogues deserve special mention for being impactful without going over the top even once.

Now to the downers. Priyanka Chopra sticks out like a sore thumb in this mammoth cast and in spite of having almost nothing to do, still manages to botch it up by acting like someone who needs to be in a mental asylum. Once a competent actress, she has surprisingly lost all talent since 7 Khoon Maaf, which was perhaps the high-point of her career, acting-wise. Zarina Wahab playing Vijay's mother, has to make do with a confusing role and although she doesnt do a bad job, you cant really tell what her issue in life is. Does she not realize why her son is doing what he is doing? Does she not know a way of trying to stop him from being bad? Does she not want her daughter to never know about Vijay? Maybe she is supposed to be confused, but she comes off as indifferent, due to the poorly sketched role. The songs act like speed-breakers and at times, spoil the realistic portrayal of the story. Gun Guna is idiotic and takes the movie down a notch or two while it is on. Chikni Chameli is energetic but wasted. Shah Ka Rutba has some unintentionally funny choreography, although it goes well with the proceedings. Deva Shree Ganesha is superbly picturized and aptly used in the pre-climax. The background score is top notch and fits the mood of the movie. Action is excellent and, with the exception of one hilarious bit in the climax, takes the movie to a different level altogether. Thankfully, it is not over the top and very believable, which is a relief after watching some ridiculously choreographed set pieces in Bodyguard et al.

Ultimately, Agneepath is an action drama with a strong story and commendable performances. Its violent, yes, but its also gripping and in spite of being almost 3 hrs long, manages to hold your interest for almost all the time, which in itself is no mean feat. In times when good, sensible movies are few and far between, Agneepath is one movie that gives you pretty much all you could hope for from an action drama.

The Busty Picture

Cleavage, boobage and thunder thighs - the life of an erstwhile silver-screen temptress is told through as many body parts as possible and while that in itself is not an issue, the corny template-ish treatment definitely is, and that is what made me walk out from the theatre un-moved after the movie ended. The premise is interesting, and so is the acting, but what kills this movie is the Madhur Bhandarkar-ish treatment which makes it a very un-entertaining, long drawn and unrelatable saga of make-believe pathos.

That Silk is played by Vidya Balan with loads of courage and spunk helps the movie a lot. Supporting her ably are brilliant actors like Nasseeruddin Shah, as a lecherous superstar and Emraan Hashmi as a I hate you (like I love you) arty director. And although both do a good job, their characters are half-baked because the director is in a hurry to pack an entire lifetime of the actress and wants to do it hurriedly when not required, while taking his time when totally unnecessary. The movie begins well, but loses its way soon after the intermission and goes totally haywire by the time it ends. Its not a particularly bad movie - the over-the-top dialogues and Vidya Balan ensure that much. But it makes the one cardinal sin that no movie should make - it gets boring very quickly and stays that way till the end. And ultimately, it is so busy focussing on other stuff that it forgets giving enough footage to invoking sympathy for the actress and her feelings.

I know this movie got great reviews and has raked in a lot of moolah, and I am happy to see it do that. If only we had a more heartfelt film with less weirdness like that forced cabaret dance-off and the silly red saree metaphor, it would have felt much better. Alas, the year has pretty much ended the way it began with No One Killed Jessica - another brilliant idea gone all ho-hum due to less-than-able direction and screenplay.

No.One

Lets begin with saying that Ra.One is not as big a disaster as it is being made out to be - not because it is making so much money (although it's going to be tough to recover all its costs) and also not because it is a great film. Only that, in a world of Bodyguards and Readys, I am willing to give a substandard movie a chance. The VFX in places are very good, and a couple of scenes even leave an impact. What lets the movie down is ...well...everything else.

I am willing to suspend disbelief and grant cinematic liberties to the makers and ignore a lot of blunders. For instance,

1. Why would anyone make a game where the hero and villain are guaranteed to reach Level 3, no matter what, and the entire game essentially boils down to a single bullet fight, which can also end in a tie if both miss, or both take out their H.A.R.T.s or both just decide to collaborate and put the players in a quandary?
2. If not wearing your H.A.R.T. means the opposition cant defeat you, why would you carry it with you everywhere? Wouldn't treating it like a horcrux be a better way of dealing with the situation?
3. If Ra.One wants to kill Lucifer, why doesnt he do it on one of the innumerable chances he has?
4. If killing the irritating kid is Ra.One's only aim, why does he have to come up with elaborate and ultra-lame conditions for G.One like saving the local train and the people in it?
5. If the player can only play as G.One, why did they even make a Ra.One suit?
6. Why doesnt anyone miss the Chinese scientist Akashi for 2-3 days until the irritating kid goes back to the lab?
7. Why doesnt the gaming company give a tiny rat's ass about the fact that their latest game lab has been totally destroyed on the night of the game launch and their two chief game developers are dead/missing?
8. Why would you put a Tam-brahm in a coffin and then cremate him?
9. How can an android not be detected by metal detectors?
10. Why does Shekhar's Tamil accent come and go as per his whims?


I am willing to disregard all of this and more. Coz its a movie, you are not supposed to think so much. Enjoy what is being shown and have fun. Sure, I am ready to do that. Bring it on!

But...but....where is the fun? Am I supposed to find a kid saying "Condom condom" funny? Is it funny that a game launch party attended by friends and family of the team behind it, is graced by a large number of unwieldy butts? That the developer's wife decides to do away with the remnant of her dress in a party attended by her own 11-year old son so that she can titillate the crowd with her panties playing peek-a-boo? Is it funny that the kid's bday party has a highlight item number by his mom who drops her pallu, coz you know, that's what Indian moms do - they drop their pallus in a family party and dance away, baring massive cleavage? Is it funny that the security guard licks his lips seeing G.One's pierced nipple? Is it funny to grab, kick and generally salivate at the thought of a crotch? Is it funny to videostream a sex-tape of your teacher in class? The simple answer is no!

Coming back to the movie - it is fractured and poorly directed and edited. The dialogues fall flatter than Kangana's chest before she got the boob-job. Yes, I said that, and yes, it is inappropriate but then again, I did not promote my blog for 7 months as a blog for kids and I did not get a U certificate from the censors for the same. That statement is indeed offensive but I never claimed otherwise. So, at least I am not a hypocrite. The acting is horrendous - coming from talented people like SRK and Kareena. And Kareena can be forgiven, coz her role is half-baked and not terribly crucial. But SRK! Why would he make a fool of himself in a movie he has spent 175 crores on! Give me the charming Raj anyday over this pathetic Tamil stereotype character. Arjun Rampal is hardly there. Everyone else is insignificant - even the usually funny Satish Shah. The cameo by Rajnikant is just worthless - what a waste of so much star wattage! The cameos by Sanjay Dutt and PC are funny in parts but marred by horrible gfx and a jackass-like SRK in Veer's costume. The music sucks on screen - Criminal is killed by all that in-your-face booty shaking, while Chammak Challo is murdered by all the cleavage on display.

All said and done, Ra.One is a terrible disappointment - coming from SRK and given the fact he spent 175 crores on it. Its just plain bad - both as a normal movie and as a superhero movie. It has a couple of well done gfx sequences but that's not saying much given the costs. Bad direction, pathetic dialogues and ultimately a very boring movie! Please no sequel, please!

Bawdyguard :|

Mediocre with no redeeming factors. Ready and Dabangg seem like masterpieces in front of this one. And they are not. Time to reinvent self sir.

You live but once!

There are few movies that touch something inside you so deeply, you cant help shed a tear or two. There are fewer that make you do so out of self-realization. The last ones I can recall were Rang De Basanti and Dil Chahta Hai. Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara joins that elite list now.

How flawless can a script be? How perfect can scenes get? How to do spontaneous, everyday comedy without going over-the-top and without resorting to gimmicks? How to ensure all the protagonists in your movie get their fair share of screen space without making it unfair to the story and the audience? How to blend music so well in your movie, it becomes another character by itself? All these questions and more are answered effectively by Zoya Akhtar and gang in ZNMD! After her lovely debut in Luck By Chance, which I loved immensely and have watched at least 6 times btw, Zoya Akhtar has pulled out all stops to give us a delicious masterpiece! ZNMD is one of those rare films where every character is played spot on by actors who have some acclaimed work to their credit from before and yet who have managed to surpass their own benchmarks with effortless performances. The casting is perfect! I read somewhere that initially the movie was supposed to star Ranbir, Imran and Farhan, and am I glad those two refused the film!! Not to say they are bad actors, its too early in their careers to call them good actors just yet.

Coming back to ZNMD, I have never really liked Hrithik Roshan's performances before, except his beautifully nuanced act in Lakshya (directed by none other than Farhan Akhtar. Coincidence?) and his awesome cameo in Luck By Chance (directed by Zoya. Coincidence?). I always felt he went way over the top even when not required and his charm and body carried it off for him on more occasions than one. But in ZNMD, he is just awesome! Underplaying his character to start with and letting the real Arjun come to the fore later, his transformation is wonderfully captured and the scene in which he cries after experiencing a whole new world while getting rid of his fear for water is simply out of this world! Hrithik does a marvelous job and should be a strong contender at award ceremonies next year (which I am sure will neglect him for doing well in a multi-starrer and give it away to SRK for Ra.One or Don2 :| )

Farhan Akhtar is brilliant as Imran. I cant imagine many other actors who could have done this role better. Maybe Aamir Khan, but Farhan Akhtar brings a certain tempered energy and depth to Imran, that is the mark of a mature actor who knows the demand of the script inside-out. No surprises there since he has written the dialogues. His squabble with Arjun is one of the high-points of the trip and the movie.

Abhay Deol - the emerging Rahul Dravid of Indian cinema - underplays his part just right and brings the vulnerable and suave side of Kabir to the fore with such ease, you cant help but admire his thespian skills! Kabir is the glue that holds the group, the trip and the movie together, and although it is a bit of a thankless role with lesser shades than the other two, its made tremendously enjoyable by Abhay.

Katrina Kaif is pitch-perfect in an extended cameo, essentially playing the catalyst in the story. Her scenes with Hrithik are mesmerizing. Kalki Koechlin is a fine actress and does her job wonderfully well! Her lip-syncing to rock chick is hilarious and so real! Ariadna Cabrol, who looks stunning btw, draws the boys and us like a moth to flame. She is just wow! Naseeruddin Shah is dependable as always in a crucial cameo while Deepti Naval is effective too.

Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy give us songs that will stay anthems for a long time to come. Be it the spirited Kab Tak Gine Hum Dhadkanein, or the peppy Suraj ki baahon mein, or the foot-tapping Paint It Red, or the philosophical Der Lagi Lekin, or the beautiful Khaabon Ke Parinday, or the utterly enjoyable and wonderful Senorita, they elevate the movie to a different level altogether with each tune. The Senorita song especially is so well picturised, its as if you are there, sitting in the audience, watching your friends play fool in a public performance! Farhan Akhtar's poetry is deep and meaningful - unlike say, the smart-ass lines said by guide Rehan in that monstrosity called Fanaa. Cinematography by Carlos Catalan is top notch - Spain is on my list of next destinations! Zoya Akhtar and Reema Kagti have written a fabulous script, and Zoya does full justice to it with her flawless direction.

And finally, the philosophy of the movie is what makes it what it is! For how many of us have really been happy, and I mean really happy, from the inside, on getting every paycheck? In a world that teaches us to keep fighting to stay afloat, and by afloat I mean chase a billion after you have reached a million, ZNMD is a whiff of fresh air that tells you to...well go get some fresh air for yourself and your soul. You deserve it because its you who decides what you deserve and what you dont! :)

Guilty pleasures

Update : This post is a submission for the Reel-life Bloggers contest by wogma and reviewgang.

Update : The post won an award in the contest :) You can read more here.

While there are a number of classics that everyone digs, we all have our own guilty pleasures - movies that might not have cut ice with many, but ones you can watch with immense enjoyment even if for the hundred and fifteenth time! Had been contemplating writing about some of my guilty pleasures for a while and now that I have gotten around to it, I have decided to go all the way. Hope you have as much fun reading as I had writing :)

Note : These are not necessarily my all-time favorite movies. These are simply movies that were either heavily panned by critics or majorly rejected by audiences or both and yet ones I watched again...and again...and again! There are (much) better movies out there and definitely ones that I enjoy more! So, presenting, in no particular order....

1. Main Hoon Naa

Classic masala movie! Absolutely loved the references to and digs at old and new movies alike! Farah Khan cooked up a snazzy story of long-lost half-brothers, appropriately called Ram and Laxman, with a Raa(gha)van lurking around trying to stop an Indo-Pak friendship gesture for personal vendetta! A remarkably spoofy script, deliberate corny dialogues, foot-tapping tunes by Anu Malik and a lovable larger-than-life turn by SRK made it one of those (quite a) few movies that I have seen multiple times on the 70 mm screen! The movie did pretty well at the box office but was somehow not loved as much as it deserved to be!

Forgot to mention how much I L-O-V-E Suneil "hamming" Shetty in this one! "May-jjja.....I thot u were the vary bast" :D Oooh, gotta go watch that scene again :D Meanwhile, I'll leave you with one of the best qawwalis of recent times! :)

2. Judwaa

One of the most senseless comedies ever, made not just bearable but stupendously enjoyable, largely because of the charisma of the oh-so-charming Salman Khan! (He looked sweet back then, in the non-beefed up look, doing his stuff like only he can...also back then, it hadnt gotten that repetitive and irritating! :D). The comedy was situational and could have been pretty banal, but for the way Salman and Karishma delivered the most ludicrous lines, making them seem inherently funny! Also, who can forget the bickering inspector-constable duo played by Anupam Kher and Satish Shah! Sparkling stuff! Anu Malik came up with a truly wacky score that still gives me goosebumps every time I hear lines like "Tu meri hai Pepsi-Cola, main tera hoon Coca-Cola" and "Oonchi hai bulding, lift teri band hai" - truly classic! :D

Lotsa memories associated with this movie! Had performed in school gathering on "India Is The Best" :) Check out one of many funny scenes from this howler. (Part upto 3:30 is trite, after is awesomeness!)

3. RHTDM

Hands down the best first 15 mins(part1 and part2) of any movie ever made! Such style, such conflict, near-perfect portrayal of Engineering college campus rivalry and above all, uber-cool Maddy! Rest of the movie is pretty good too altho the climax is tepid. Maddy's love story is ultra-sweet. Music by Harris Jayraj is simply awesome. The lovely Diya Mirza, crack-up-till-you-pee dialogues, an ultra-cocky Hirjee and ultra-sweet Maddy - this ones truly a guilty pleasure. The movie flopped big time on release but has gained a cult following ever since.





4. Salaam-e-Ishq

Heavily panned by critics and rejected by most, and yet I love this movie. Its lengthy yes, and tends to drag after the 2-hour mark, but all the stories are so beautiful, I was willing to sit through it, thrice! I especially enjoy the Govinda-Shannon story and Akshay-Ayesha one. John-Vidya story is probably the best and the most crucial, and it succeeds in making an impact except for the ridiculous Pakistan market scene broadcast live! That's a major WTF moment, but considering its a 3.5 hr long film, its a minor abberation. Salman-Priyanka story had the most potential, being a spoof on the industry and media but somehow fizzles out due to a lukewarm follow-up after a rollicking start. Anil-Juhi-Anjana story is good although a tad too long, while the Sohail-Isha track is howlarious! SEL's music is rocking and some stellar performances carry the movie through to the campy climax which ties all ends together remarkably well, while just managing to not go over-the-top! Nikhil Advani made a noteworthy follow-up to Kal Ho Naa Ho, altho he ripped off a lil bit of Love Actually! But he also managed to make a good film, actually! :D

5. Welcome

This one's Nana Patekar all the way! Uday Shetty sets straight everythng else that's wrong with this film, from Akshay Kumar's pathetic role to some of the hideously tapori dialogues to cringe-worthy romantic scenes, with his spontaneous comedy, delivered in a manner only he can! Anil Kapoor plays a great supporting role and altho he did splendidly in No Entry, here he has to play second fiddle to Nana who is in his element after a long time! Mallika Sherawat delights in a sprightly cameo! Despite the crappy finale, the movie stands on its own due to stellar performances by Nana and Anil!


6. Jaan-e-Mann

This is probably the best and most innovative college campus story told in Bollywood (Sorry team Kuch Kuch Hota Hai!) Shirish Kunder makes a rocking debut as director and gives us this Broadway-esque saga of love and friendship. Supreme performances by (surprise, surprise!) Salman Khan and Akshay Kumar and wonderful melodies by Anu Malik along with the unique story telling style make this a memorable movie! I still cant get why the movie didnt make enough money! It was released during Diwali, most of the ppl who watched it liked it, critics praised it for the new story-telling techniques used and yet the movie ended up an average grosser! :| The competition from Don probably killed its prospects big time! Beautiful movie nevertheless! One of my favorite Salman movies :)

7. Kal Ho Naa Ho

A straight-faced guide to living your life to the fullest no matter what! Kal Ho Naa Ho is probably my favorite SRK movie - I loved him in those tending to larger-than-life and yet human roles. Kal Ho Naa Ho is a true gem, and I have had endless debates with friends about this. What draws me to it every single time I watch it, is the spontaneous and intelligent humor, which doesnt wait for the audience to laugh along but moves on at a brisk pace, and the subtle, underlying message of living your life to the fullest without complaining about what's missing, indeed making the most of what you have. Saif and Preity turned in one of their career-best performances for this one. And although the ending is labored, the impact isnt diluted one bit, at least for me. I am so glad Karan Johar let Nikhil Advani direct this one!

8. Love Aaj Kal

A true ode to love, as seen by our generation and the one before ours. Love Aaj Kal was somehow disliked by many, inspite of making truckloads of money, mostly because people found it fake and pretentious...and boring. And somehow, I found it honest, relatable and very touching! A good example of  "to each his own" I guess :) What worked most for me in Love Aaj Kal was the fact that it captures the thoughts of today's youth very well - couples do break up because they dont believe in making long-distance work, couples do try to ensure smooth, hassle-free break-ups and couples do continue to be in love after break-ups if the reason for break-up in the first place was frivolous. Of course, there are tons of examples that point otherwise. The music by Pritam is super, Saif turns in a spirited performance in a smart double role, ably supported by the delightful Rishi Kapoor, and contrary to popular belief, Deepika does her job decently as well, seeming spontaneous and confused, just as the character demanded. The comparison between love of yore and love today is fabulous and the dialogue between the older Veer and younger Jai is superbly written and delivered. One film I can always turn to when I need to wake up the practical romantic in me :)

9. Ek Chaalis Ki Last Local

This one's a riot all the way - superfast, superzany and choc-a-bloc with unconventional comic moments and enough twists to put Race to shame! Abhay Deol is dependable as always in the role of Nilya. Multiple bits and parts players do brilliant jobs - most notably the actors in the roles of Mak, Inspector, hawaldar Tawde and the newly inducted, Rajni-fan constable. Snehal Dabi and Deepak Shirke turn in hilarious extended cameos, while the cleavage-toting Neha Dhupia does surprisingly well too! The movie is a start-to-end caper and, aside from the blatant rip-off scene from Pulp Fiction, everything works perfectly. Sadly, the movie did not do well when released, prime reasons being it wasnt marketed enough and, well, sadly, not everyone makes a beeline at the theater to watch an Abhay Deol starrer.

10. Dus Kahaniyaan

One of the better anthology films made in Bollywood, Dus Kahaniyaan has a few very well made stories along with some mediocre ones and a couple boring/ridiculous ones. The best of the lot are undoubtedly Gubbare starring Nana Patekar - simple, touching and non self-indulgent - and Zahir starring Manoj Vajpayee and Dia Mirza - dark, visceral and ending with a poetic justice. Pooranmasi starring Amrita Singh and Minisha Lamba is really good too. Rice Plate, enacted by stalwarts Naseeruddin Shah and Shabana Azmi, is interesting, but also a blatant rip-off of an American short film. Matrimony starring Mandira Bedi and Arbaaz Khan is very Jeffrey Archer-ish - short, meaty and with a shocking end. High on the Highway starring Jimmy Shergill and Masumi Makhija talks about the self-indulgence of youth but ends up being too self-indulgent in the way it is presented. Neha Dhupia and Mahesh Manjrekar's Stranger in the Dark starts out as an interesting concept but ends up being a damp squib because of the manipulative end. Sanjay Dutt and Suneil Shetty's grand finale Rise and Fall is a predictable story shot with style and although it doesnt work completely, its not too bad either. Aftab and Anupam Kher's corny and boring Lovedale and Dino Morea's trying-too-hard-to-be-cool-and-hot Sex on the Beach vie for the bottom honors and while Sex on the Beach at least has a hot chick in skimpy clothes throughout, which is scant respite btw, Lovedale fails to engage at all.

Like I said, not all of them work, but the ones that work, work really well. Ultimately, its like reading one of Archer's short stories compilation - you like some, you ignore some. The movie works pretty well in terms of style and content and should have made more money than it did.

11. Socha Na Tha

Its fitting to end the list with Socha Na Tha, Imtiaz Ali's delicious debut about innocent love and arranged marriages. Abhay Deol and Ayesha Takia manage to take your breath away with lovable performances and everyone else chips in to make Socha Na Tha a believable, relatable tale of confused marriageable minds and how things unfurl with time and situation. Ably supported by some lilting music, which includes Socha Na Tha and O Yaara Rab, and some simple dialogues, this one's an absolute delight for true romantics at heart and one of the best movies to come out of Bollywood in the rom-com genre.

There are lot of movies that I enjoy more and tend to watch multiple times but then so do many others and discussing those movies would have been pretty moot. To give an example, I really doubt readers would be interested in me raving about Andaz Apna Apna or Dil Chahta Hai or Rang De Basanti or even Jab We Met, coz they are justified classics and there's no dearth of good stuff on these movies. Like I mentioned before, these are not mere pleasures, these are guilty pleasures - movies I know are flawed in some way or the other, and yet, movies I cant resist enjoying. You know, like that 1600 calorie slice of cheesecake, that you know will reduce your life by a couple of days right away, but one you cant resist letting melt away in the mouth. :)

Chilled out Disco, Prude wale Khisko

Delhi Belly! What a ridiculously funny and thoroughly enjoyable movie! Another feather in the cap of AK Productions! Its difficult to make a movie of the genre that boasts of classics like Pulp Fiction, Lock,Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch. After all, trying to emulate Guy Ritchie and Quentin Tarantino is not a mean task! There's every chance of falling flat on your face. But director Abhinay Deo and writer Akshat Verma perform a fine job of not only sketching a loony story but also fleshing it out on screen with aplomb! Delhi Belly is pathbreaking for Hindi cinema for rarely have you heard such irreverent dialogue delivered so nonchalantly by mainstream actors in a supposedly indie film produced by a leading production house and released in all major centres across India and the world.

Technically, the movie is fine with some razor-sharp editing, stupendous background score, great art direction and a deadly mix of subtle as well as in-your-face dialogue which basically elevates the movie several notches above regular comedies dished out by Bollywood. The music by Ram Sampath is creative and top-notch to say the least with almost all tracks including D K Bose, Jaa Chudail, Switty, Nakkadwaley Disco and the egregiously named I Hate You (Like I Love You) scoring on the ears as well as the eyes. Direction is spot on and although the movie starts off slow, it picks up pace pretty soon and doesnt slow down till the very end.

Of the cast, almost everyone does a near-perfect job. Imran Khan is excellent in the main protagonist's role. Vir Das is brilliant as the poker-faced sidekick while Kunal Roy Kapoor gets a crucial role which he plays with a lot of character. Aamir Khan was interested in playing this role when he read the script and although its a pity he couldnt, since it would have taken a lot of time to put on weight for the film, Kunal makes sure that doesnt have any negative impact. Poorna Jagannathan is hawt in an unconventional female lead while Shenaz is competent. The real scene-stealer though is Vijay Raaz with his wonderfully nuanced and understated act. There are plenty of actors who perform bit roles and have their 15 seconds of fame on screen viz. the "loondry" guy and the pervert landlord. Aamir Khan makes a "Look-I-made-an-insane-movie-and-still-made-you-enjoy-it" appearance in the end in the delightfully choreographed number with the zazzy Anusha Dandekar, which is like a tight slap in the face for the audience - a gift from AK Productions to you - which hurts and still feels good!

Delhi Belly is a fun, well-made movie, and while it may not be the best we have seen this year - Dhobi Ghaat, 7 Khoon Maaf and Yeh Saali Zindagi were probably better products - it is for sure something new and immensely enjoyable. As long as you dont shy away from a few expletives and some toilet humor, go get your dose of gross!

Ready?

So, the promos made no bones about this one being a typical, masala entertainer fueled by the audience's new-found love for Sallu. But after watching Ready yesterday, I must say I expected the makers to make an effort to exploit Sallu more! The fact that there is a story, silly as it may be, and there are a host of actors who actually get to say funny lines and play a part in the proceedings, came as a pleasant surprise! Lets not get carried away though, for Ready is hardly great, or for that matter even good, cinema. Its not even old wine in a new bottle - more like old wine in an old bottle with a new shining label and elevated brand value.

It would be blasphemy to review the movie since that would mean putting a lot more thought into the review than the makers put in its making, but I am willing to make the effort, even if only for Sallu. I loved the fact that dependable actors like Mahesh Manjrekar, Manoj Joshi, Paresh Rawal and Manoj Pahwa get to play reasonably significant roles and they do pretty well. Most of the rest of the cast is okayish - special metion must be made of the bike riding maid though :D There are plenty of funny gags altho a couple of pathetic scenes stand out like a sore thumb. Like that one involving a kid and pee and a skeleton suit. Not sure who the target audience was for that one! The direction is ho-hum - anyone who knows something about movie making could have directed it. The dialogues are not very funny but the actors put enough conviction in them to make us laugh. The cinematography is nothing we havent seen before, and the editing could have been sharper.

Ultimately what saves Ready is the spate of in-jokes and comic timing of most actors! Sallu's self-digs at Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, Prem, his colossal flops Yuvvraaj and Veer, the hit-and-run case and more are quite amusing and make you laugh, even if for their sheer silliness, or at times, the honesty with which Sallu owns up to all accusations made against him. Sample the scene in which he takes his shirt off after his uncle says "Prem, shirt utaarne ka isse acha mauka nahin milega" after the goon's shirt tears, and how it all turns out to be a figment of Asin's imagination, meaning she wants to get a look at the hunk herself :D Also, the way Sallu asks later "Mazaa aaya?" ; its hard to imagine any other actor who can pull this off while being self-critical and brash at the same time. Few such moments aside however, Sallu looks disinterested in the proceedings. Hopefully, Bodyguard will be a welcome change from his bored-looking roles (I have read the story and it has a lot of potential if made well). Asin looks horrible - I was constantly chiding her to go wash her face throughout the movie. Not sure what went wrong with her make-up, coz she's quite pretty otherwise. The music is a mixed-bag. The romantic Humko Pyaar Hua is a yaaaawn and the shaadi song is an exercise in showcasing Sallu's moves. Dhinka Chika and Character Dheela however are superb in terms of picturization and I definitely got my money's worth with those two music videos. The cameos by a horde of actors are fun to watch too!

Ultimately, Ready is a fun, family film that does nothing new and yet ensures you enjoy. I must admit I alternated between being non-plussed and amused, but the rest of the jam-packed theatre was enjoying every bit of the movie. Its all luck - had this movie released 3 yrs earlier, nobody would have seen it. Post-Dabangg, everyone wants a slice of Sallu entertainment. One one hand, its sad Ready will make more money than a lot of Sallu's much better and under-appreciated movies like Jaan-e-Mann and Salaam-e-Ishq, on the other hand, it was fun to watch an entertaining Hindi movie in theaters after so long!

P.S. : Does it seem like I was disinterested when writing this review? Well, can you blame me? :)

Dump Maaro Dump

Watching Dum Maaro Dum is actually like taking a dump, coz you know "Oonche se ooncha banda, potty pe baithe nanga"(@0:39). Wow! Did I repel you with that first line? Then imagine how the viewers must have felt when this line was repeated 4 times in a hideous non-item song, 1.5 hours into a movie that started with so much promise and by then, had clearly lost its way. But I am getting ahead of myself here, for such movies should be reviewed with relish. So, lets start from the beginning!

DMD starts off as a cool,stylish feature with lots of promise. The first hour, although a little too episodic, is well-paced and manages to hold your interest. And Abhishek's entry heightens the expectations with the proverbial twist in the plot that makes you go "Alright! Now on to the real story!" And that is the last time you can say the words story and DMD in the same line. For the director chooses to show Abhishek, an ACP, rapping on the streets of Goa, while he cleans up the place. And not just rapping mind you, lip-syncing to the rap. Lame would be an understatement. Nevertheless, the movie doesnt nosedive right away, it continues to hold promise, but another 20 minutes later, it is clear that this is going to be a long ride with an utterly unsatisfactory end, coz there is no way they can tie up those loose threads with any credibility whatsoever, especially with the set of writers they have got. What follows is utter boredom, reel after reel showcasing basically nothing. No doubt it takes a lot of talent to show nothing with so much at your disposal, and that is in fact an art, its just not what I paid 12 bucks for! The Dump song is the nadir and the movie can only rise afterwards, which it does. Only it takes awfully long to do that, and by then, you are desperate to get out of the theatre, coz there's only so much of "Baki sabke liye Google hai" (@2:25) that you can take sanely.

Of the cast, Prateik Babbar is a sheer embarrassment, with his whiney, juvenile portrayal of a, well, juvenile! Bipasha Basu is non-existant. (Note to producers : A bikini scene would have enhanced her presence in the movie considerably! Since you anyways decided to give her a weak role, a few more bucks spent on a fancy bikini doesnt seem like such a bad idea now does it?) Rana Who-ggabati is wooden and his dubbing artist is a douchebag. Aditya Pancholi takes hamming and growling to new pathetic levels. Govind Namdeo doesnt. And yes, he hams too! Deepika Padukone's rib-cage is a total turn-off. And my dear AB baby is surprisingly better than most of his other roles. But that's not saying much for someone who has "Dus Ass Wale" Raavan and "Tha Tha Tha" ACP Jay Dixit to his credit. And what's with the incessant referencing to daddy dearest's movies?? Get a life son, and get your own identity. I know a lost cause when I see one and yet I am saying this out of sheer respect for your dad, or what he once was. STAND.UP.ON.YOUR.OWN.FEET.

Technically, the film is superior but when the script is boring, there's little technique can do. Nevertheless, kudos to the team for getting something right. Ultimately, DMD is not even like taking a dump, coz that activity is actually satisfying. Its more like suffering from a severe constipation after eating something that tasted good but left a bad after-taste.