When life gives you lemons...

...they say, u make lemonade...But you know what? Sour lemons can only lead to sour lemonade, no matter how much sugar you put in...Adding other flavors doesn't help either...So what do you do then? Live with the fact that you got sour lemons? Make a yucky lemon pie? Say "lemon who"? Develop a liking for other, probably tastier, fruits?

Its one of the toughest conundrums in life. This might sound cliched, but how you react to the downsides in life defines how far you can go. It could be a personal issue, a professional setback, or even a psychological thing; how you face it and how quickly you can bounce back will more or less decide how quickly you can rise from the ashes. Alrit, enough of the Paulo Coelho-esque crap (If you are wondering whether I am a Coelho fan, lemme put it this way - I prefer a hamming Suneil Shetty to his books, that should put your doubts to rest...For those confused by the phrase "hamming Suneil Shetty", check this) ....Moving on to why I have been rambling about life, lemons and all kinds of random stuff...

People who have been dumped on e-mail, who have been stood up on their 4th date, who have been left at the altar, who have had to say goodbye to someone they have been with for more than half their lives, and who have seen the Mallika Sherawat, Rahul Bose starrer Pyaar Ke Side Effects, you all know what I'm talking about when I say "Break-up Ke Side Effects"...While the process by itself is painful, the aftermath may not be as bad as you may have imagined....

1. You suddenly have a lot of time on hand

Because something you thought about for 23 out of 24 hrs in the day till now is something you want to forget asap. So, suddenly you have time for all the things you had been postponing all these days for "lack of time" or some such weird reason. You can now register for that dance class you have been wanting to do for quite some time, play some sports, go talk to that pretty girl you have been wanting to talk to for a while but kept avoiding lest something serious come out of it....its time to start living for yourself for a change...

2. You are free to make your own decisions

Because that someone for whom you changed 11 out of 10 decisions no longer matters as much (not because you dont care any more, but because you have to make an effort to not care any more), you suddenly find yourself basing your decisions on what YOU want to do, rather than stuff like what will he/she feel, does he/she like it, will he/she have fun, does he/she dig it, yada yada...Its time to enjoy being in control of your life!

3. You can make friends with anyone!

Because you no longer have to worry about potentially inappropriate advances, inadvertent complications and jealous backlashes, you are free to meet new people, especially those belonging to the opposite sex, and try and strike a connect! Its time to forge new friendships, something you could do only to an extent till now because you had to devote so much time and energy to that special someone. Its time to get out on the dance floor of life and jive with new buddies!

4. You can reconnect with old friends like never before!

Because of 1, you have lots of spare air-time that can be put to good use by trying to rebuild relationships/friendships you could (unintentionally) give only so much time to, because that special someone demanded more of your attention! Its time to get back to pre-rel times and rock the floor, friendship-style!

5. You save A LOT!

Because you dont need to spend on gifts and on looking/being the way someone else wants you to look/be like, you can stop spending on relatively useless stuff and keep the money for stuff that really matters- good food and latest gadgets! This, friends, is a real saver and probably the biggest material side-effect, or should I say advantage!

6. You can go after your dreams!

Because the only person majorly affected in long-term by your decisions now is you, you can reopen that wish-list and finally try to make a serious effort towards making at least a couple of things written there true! Nobody/nothing stops you from going for what your heart wants, and has always wanted!

7. You can be genuinely happy!

Not that you weren't happy before! But you no longer need to suffer from an external focus of identity! Happiness can finally come from within, based only on how happy YOU are!

Pretty positive eh? Life post-breakup aint so bad! :) Its best to enjoy this phase before the next one beckons and history begins to repeat itself! :)

Aisha!!!

Amit Trivedi is back with a bang! And not just your ordinary bang, not the kind they used to depict in the Batman TV series by lame words-in-clouds like POW and WHAM! This is serious kick-ass stuff!

It begins with Suno Aisha sung oh-so-delectably by Ash King, of Dil-Gira-Dafatan-fame, with able assistance by Trivedi himself and while it reminds a lot of another recent classic, Aditi from Jaane Tu, that's only bcz its reminiscent of the former in spirit. The use of saxophones and trumpets is a master stroke and Ash King does a fab job at making the song simply irresistible!

Gall Mitthi Mitthi is a winner all the way with Tochi at helm crooning a very non-mundane Punju tune, which is a refreshing change...especially bcz the lyrics are true-blue Punjabi, as compared to the random mundiya, chunari, kudiyon crap usually served till date in Hindi movies...The beat grows on u after a mere 2 listens and while i cudnt get what the hype abt the song is all about in the first listen, by the end of listen 2, i was hooked, in fact bowled over!

Sham is beautifully sung by Nikil D'Souza and is the soothing element in the album...well written, awesomely arranged and amazingly pleasant, Sham is a treat for the ears...'nuf said!

Lehrein is an introspective song, again awesomely arranged and beautifully sung by Anushka Mani, with some great lyrics! Another song u will be willing to listen on loop, especially if ur in a melancholy mood!

Behke Behke is probably the first Spanish style Hindi song ever...its energetic, vivacious and foot-tapping, belly-shaking to say the least. The awesome Anushka Manchanda sings this one and boy, does she do it well!

Anushka comes back for By The Way, which is a very VIVA-like song and yet, much better than what VIVA cud ever manage, of course bcz its Amit Trivedi at the helm of affairs here! Bubbly, effervescent and full of life, this ones a winner too!

Remixes of Gall Mitthi Mitthi and Lehrein wrap up the album, and both up the ante considerably! All in all, Aisha is hands-down, by far, the album of the year! Its a superb follow-up by Amit Trivedi to his much deserving and brilliant Dev D! He manages so much with some lesser-known singers, that its truly remarkable how carefully he has chosen the right voice for the right track! I hate to compare but, I havent felt like this abt an album since Rock On...Delhi 6 came close and while Dev D had 7-8 masterpieces, it also had another 4-5 tracks that I rarely liked to listen to (not bcz they wr bad, only bcz m not into that kinda music)....so considering the whole album, Aisha is a rarity, at least for me, where EVERY track stands on its own and tall! Dont take off ur headphones for the next month! :)

P.S. : I remember finding Emma pretty boring when I read it abt 12 yrs back...But Aisha sure looks a peppy adaptation! And not to forget, it has that most important factor every Hindi movie shud have...no no not the script....Abhay Deol! \m/

Dus Ass Wale...

Raavan, without any doubt, is the WORST MOVIE I have seen in the last 10 years, probably even the worst I have ever seen ...I dont remember being as utterly perplexed and mindfucked while and after watching a movie since I saw Refugee and LOC, but even those had some redeeming moments...and some of the recent crap like Kidnap and Karzzzzz was of the so-bad-its-good variety....

Raavan is the lowest of low points in Mani Ratnam's career and Abhishek Bachchan's non-career...For some reason, Ash's (non-existent) cleavage hogs more limelight than any shred or iota of acting skill she allegedly has...I have seen some seriously BAD movies, and i mean real bad bad movies like Jai-Veeru and Team-The Force, and even they seem like Picasso in front of this Dus Ass Wala Raavan...Mindfuck! डोक्याला शॉट! डायरेक्टरच्या आईचा घो !

Irony of life....

You always want to be the Akash of your life, but no matter how much good you mean, sometimes you just turn out to be Rohit...

And the irony is .... one person's Akash can be another person's Rohit....

Maybe its a good idea to just be Sameer and not bother about the Shalinis of the world...You could try to be Sid, but takes a lot of maturity and unfortunately, I'm not there yet....

Yo James...

Sometime in the mid-90s, somewhere in California....

"Ron, I'm gonna build a big ship...huge one...cut it into half ...tie people to the posts and railings on tht ship...then get a bunch of cranes and pull it vertical so that it looks like one half of a sinking ship....the tied people all sway, hanging on the threads they are tied to...its all natural...looks awesome...you capture it all using multiple cameras, edit it, post process it and lo, you have an awesome scene of a sinking ship...waddaya think?"

"You know James, its a ridiculous idea...its not gonna work...there's so much technology available...you should use it!"

"Technology schmecknology! I'mma make it work! You'll see..."

"Take my word James, you'll come back to technology later when it doesnt work out...and you'll have wasted money and time! Listen to me now, I know this stuff..."

"Oh you scientists know squat about art! You'll see"

6 months later....

"Yo James, hows it goin man?"

"You know what Ron, you were right...my goddamn idea was a boo-boo....it looked hideous..."

"I toldja didnt I!"

"Yeah! I put my foot in my own mouth...gimme your goddamn technology...lets see how it goes!"

A coupla years later in 1998....

Titanic smashes box-office records worldwide...

The people


Ron - Ron Fedkiw, my Special Effects professor (More info here)
James - James Cameron, Director

True story.

The real superhero...

...is Robert Downey Jr! How else can you explain Iron Man, Tropic Thunder, Sherlock Holmes and Iron Man 2 is succession!! He has now officially displaced Leonardo DiCaprio as my favorite Hollywood actor.

Getting back to the movie, Iron Man 2 is no The Dark Knight, but it is not Transformers 2 either, nor is it Spiderman 3! I guess you see where I am going :D While it explores less of psyche and more of the superficial, Iron Man 2 delivers what all superhero movies are intended to deliver in the first place - loads of entertainment and action - and it does that without disrespecting the IQ levels of the audience, which is more than you can ask from this genre! While it does not delve into depths of almost any of the characters' psyches, save Tony Stark to some extent, the film is so edgily written and performed that you are willing to overlook that fact. While Mickey Rourke as Whiplash and Samuel Jackson as Nick Fury get sort of a raw deal, they nevertheless shine to the extent they can. Gwyneth Paltrow is adorable as Pepper Potts and Scarlett Johannson burns the screen with her chutzpah. How I wish there was more of her in the movie. I need not repeat the fact that she is H-O-T, she is superhot in this one! Sam Rockwell is brilliant as Hammer. But the real superhero as I mentioned is Robert Downey Jr.! He builds on top of the Tony Stark character he conceived in the first part and while the focus is more on his situation this time than on his psychology, the filmmakers are lucky to have him since he comes up with such an eccentric, delicious and towering performance that overshadows everything else including the half-baked characterizations, the unoriginal and underdeveloped rationale to Whiplash's action, the kick-ass action set-pieces (though we all have seen better!) and even Scarlett Johannson's assets! Now if that isnt a superpower, what is!

Its an entertainment fest, laced with lots of sarcasm and punch! And while it misses the chance of being another Iron Man or The Dark Knight, Iron Man 2 leaves dumbass flicks like Revenge of the Fallen and Clash of the Titans light years behind, both in terms of pure adrenaline and sheer joy!

P.S. : I wouldnt mind seeing an entire movie on the Black Widow, btw! :D

Where exactly is the devil?

Okay, so I have kept my views to myself for 3 weeks now, in the (unlikely) hope (yeah right!) that they will change, because, you know, Rahman's music is different, it grows on you with time...While I dont disagree with that, (I have had my share of music-grows-on-you factor with Jaane Tu..., Yuvvraaj and Blue), I hate to admit that this time ARR gets it wrong...That's okay...We all are mortals, and its too much to ask from a person, even if a genius, to deliver just awesomeness everytime...We have seen Sachin fail at times, we have seen Aamir Khan deliver turkeys, and we have seen Michael Schumacher end 10th behind less-gifted drivers...So, ARR delivering an uninspiring album should be no big deal...What stings me however, is the unequivocal raving that has accompanied the release of the soundtracks of Raavan...Its a case of worshipping someone just because we put him up on a pedestal so high up that now calling a spade a spade will mean demeaning the someone to such an extent that is unbecoming of his genius...Now THIS is what i call blasphemy!

Raavan may not be his weakest work till date, but it is definitely ARR's least deserving works in recent times...Least deserving of the accolades, the hype and the hoopla! Lets get this straight, ARR misfires more often than we like to believe, but when he scores, he scores Bull's eye and more, which indeed makes us forget the misfires - indeed the true mark of a genius. But that shudnt make us shy away from calling crap crap! When you have deplorably hideous songs like Kata Kata and the highly pretentious Ranjha Ranjha, there is no way you can convince me with tales of how he has broken away from the convention by delivering a beat on the 13th count instead of the expected 12th and thus, created a masterpiece...The song sounds not-good and that's the result on which the verdict should be based! I mean sample this analysis of Kata Kata:

"There is a madness, wildness and subtle darkness to this playful pre-wedding composition. The bugles at the beginning awaken everyone to an emergency, a crisis, something going amiss followed by drums. What turmoil has arrived, you ask?"

Seriously WTF! The songs sucks...plain sucks! why is there a problem saying tht loud and clear? Pretentious douchebags need to stop writing reviews! Rahman has given us much much better and calling this track a masterpiece and a master stroke is like Filmfare awarding Aamir Best Actor for "Raja Hindustani"! Its seriously WTF...

Coming back to the album, Beera is energetic and has so much energy that it carries you with it for the 4 minutes the song lasts and beyond. So much so that you are willing to forgive the random signature Rahman tribal words "Mehegumenjaaaaaaaaaaaaloooooooooooooo" (I have never understood Rahman's fascination for random, meaningless words in songs; it was "Bala bala, aa ora, o meego, tu bala pada hoysa....taboo, bala bala" in Jai Ho; "Hosa, keecha keecha" in Shano Shano; "Thoda thoda Zimbabwe"in Latoo and numerous more...I mean seriously why spoil a song just by randomness!! I can understand the French rap in Delhi6 but these "tribal" sounds r laughable, not to mention irritating, and just bcoz its ARR, ppl wont say a word...let Himesh or Pritam put somthng like tht in a song and u'll hear no end of it!)...Nevertheless, the song is really good and is the best of the lot because it is energetic and you cant get it out of your head! Behne De is another inspiring track and while it bears some resemblance to Satrangi, the credit goes to ARR for creating such a racy track! Khili Re is the last shred of sense in the album and while its cloyingly sweet and similar to most of the Jodhaa Akbar music, it is well sung and melody keeps it afloat.

Now to the major f*ck-ups! Thok De Killi is fast-food and it has zero impact. People comparing it with Yuva can go get their braincells checked. It is uninspiring and strictly below average. And btw, the lyrics are BAD! Kata Kata is deplorable to say the least, and comparisons with Rukmini are absolutely uncalled for! It is hideously penned and sung and I dont care how awesome the music arrangements are when that happens! Ranjha Ranjha is the most utterly over-rated track of the year - its the Singh is Kinng of music! People raving about its wonderful lyrics need to tell me if they even understand what is being said! Nothing exceptional about the song, nothing even bloody okay about it! The much-awaited Jaa Re Udd Jaa Re sung by the man himself, is not bad but is not worthy of the sky-high praise it has received! Again, its idol worship more than rationale which has prompted people to say tht!

I am aware I may have gone majorly overboard in criticizing Raavan here, but frankly it kills me to see people praising something just bcz it is supposed to be praised. We should stop being afraid of admitting we cant understand "genius" when we dont! Everyone makes mistakes and its stupid to cover up one mistake with another.

This is unconventional music which fails to touch or move...Lets be honest and gutsy enough to call it tht!

Badmaash Soundtrack!

I usually dont do music reviews...bcz music is something that you cannot judge in 1-2-3-..-10 hearings...sometimes it takes a mere 15 second prelude to a song to decide whether ur gonna love it for the rest of ur life, sometimes even 100 loops arent enough...

Wait! I am not breaking my aforementioned unwritten rule bcz I found a kick-ass album! Just that its been a while since I heard some good music and I figured I havent raved about inane, senseless songs with foot-tapping beats and delicious melodies in a while....Doesnt hurt to do that occasionally, right? ;)

Badmaash Company looks like a rehash of Bunty Aur Babli, and while that makes me wanna puke, the soundtrack by Pritam sure is a guilty pleasure!

Ayashi, with its guitar-riffin' start and the 'beparwah' rendition by KK(after loong!) is just brimming with enthusiasm and chutzpah! Reruns galore and you still cant get the tune out of your head...

Chaska, sung earthily by Krishna, is refreshingly different, with its laidback mood and irrefutable reverence to a "high"er power. Brings back memories of "Dum Laga" from Dil Dosti Etc. Addictive!

Jingle Jingle is awesome with Mohit's unique rendition, the super-fun lyrics and the brilliant music! But for the ridiculous "Jingle Jingle" chorus which sucks to the bone, this could have been an anthem for keeps! Still a whole lot of fun, if you can phase out the pathetic "jingle jingle" sound!

Fakeera is the best of the lot! And that's saying something considering the album's full of pep and vigour! Rahat Fateh Ali Khan moves away from his typical stuff to give this lilting, meaningful and racy song, with a vintage Pritam stamp all over it!

That brings us to the title song, which put me off with the very first line

"Look Look Left, Look Look Right,

Kar Le Apni, Jeans Pant Tight!"

Trite has a new meaning!! Benny Dayal is wasted in this unflattering piece, which stands out like a sore thumb in an otherwise winner from Pritam!

Lets get this straight : the music of Badmaash Company isnt of the masterpiece variety, but come on, Pritam is no ARR, and to give credit where its due, he has given us awesome (albeit "lifted" :P) stuff like Gangster, Woh Lamhe, Life in a Metro, Awaarapan, Jab We Met, Jannat and Love Aaj Kal (woah! thats some line-up!! and I didnt even consider his massier stuff like Dhoom, D2, Billu and Race!); so when we say Pritam is back in form, it does mean something! :)

Hope the film works too, at least for Shahid Kapoor's sake, coz here's one actor who needs to get his due (and who also needs to learn to smell crap(Dil Bole Hadippa, CpD) from a distance and stay away!). Btw, Anushka, though not much of an actress IMO, is looking smokin' hot in the promos :D

EPIC!

My friend Sagar shared this howlarious stuff tht I cudnt help sharing....a few glimpses below....

Know you FB contacts!

Irony anyone?

The very definition of a trivial breakup!

Wait! Wha....?

Get a life! My favorite :D

Reinforces my belief about the dumb ___ stereotype! (Ping me if you wanna know the blank)

See the real deal here....contains risque, often tasteless, and really really gross, stuff...keep your fingers to yourself if ur too uptight...(i mean dont click the link :P)

When quake hits a geekozoidal town....

This is EXACTLY what happened last week!!

Courtesy: xkcd