Friday, April 29, 2011

Dump Maaro Dump


Watching Dum Maaro Dum is actually like taking a dump, coz you know "Oonche se ooncha banda, potty pe baithe nanga"(@0:39). Wow! Did I repel you with that first line? Then imagine how the viewers must have felt when this line was repeated 4 times in a hideous non-item song, 1.5 hours into a movie that started with so much promise and by then, had clearly lost its way. But I am getting ahead of myself here, for such movies should be reviewed with relish. So, lets start from the beginning!

DMD starts off as a cool,stylish feature with lots of promise. The first hour, although a little too episodic, is well-paced and manages to hold your interest. And Abhishek's entry heightens the expectations with the proverbial twist in the plot that makes you go "Alright! Now on to the real story!" And that is the last time you can say the words story and DMD in the same line. For the director chooses to show Abhishek, an ACP, rapping on the streets of Goa, while he cleans up the place. And not just rapping mind you, lip-syncing to the rap. Lame would be an understatement. Nevertheless, the movie doesnt nosedive right away, it continues to hold promise, but another 20 minutes later, it is clear that this is going to be a long ride with an utterly unsatisfactory end, coz there is no way they can tie up those loose threads with any credibility whatsoever, especially with the set of writers they have got. What follows is utter boredom, reel after reel showcasing basically nothing. No doubt it takes a lot of talent to show nothing with so much at your disposal, and that is in fact an art, its just not what I paid 12 bucks for! The Dump song is the nadir and the movie can only rise afterwards, which it does. Only it takes awfully long to do that, and by then, you are desperate to get out of the theatre, coz there's only so much of "Baki sabke liye Google hai" (@2:25) that you can take sanely.

Of the cast, Prateik Babbar is a sheer embarrassment, with his whiney, juvenile portrayal of a, well, juvenile! Bipasha Basu is non-existant. (Note to producers : A bikini scene would have enhanced her presence in the movie considerably! Since you anyways decided to give her a weak role, a few more bucks spent on a fancy bikini doesnt seem like such a bad idea now does it?) Rana Who-ggabati is wooden and his dubbing artist is a douchebag. Aditya Pancholi takes hamming and growling to new pathetic levels. Govind Namdeo doesnt. And yes, he hams too! Deepika Padukone's rib-cage is a total turn-off. And my dear AB baby is surprisingly better than most of his other roles. But that's not saying much for someone who has "Dus Ass Wale" Raavan and "Tha Tha Tha" ACP Jay Dixit to his credit. And what's with the incessant referencing to daddy dearest's movies?? Get a life son, and get your own identity. I know a lost cause when I see one and yet I am saying this out of sheer respect for your dad, or what he once was. STAND.UP.ON.YOUR.OWN.FEET.

Technically, the film is superior but when the script is boring, there's little technique can do. Nevertheless, kudos to the team for getting something right. Ultimately, DMD is not even like taking a dump, coz that activity is actually satisfying. Its more like suffering from a severe constipation after eating something that tasted good but left a bad after-taste.